torn threads

torn threads

james aire

Bataille quotes Hegel’s Phenomenology of Spirit: ‘Spirit attains its truth only by finding itself in absolute dismemberment’ (déchirement).

█in the beginning█

whispered to myself that it did not matter anyway

wind                                                        gushing

over

body

racing

across

hair                                                            pushing                                                            back

body

reclines on rising water

feeling gentle waves displaced touch

box black site light face

self                                          arms hands grasp neck bent over

teeth clench shroud eyes

blind suffer

man extinguish will

horror engulf isolate despair

submissive longing failure

desperate clutching hands inward

turning haunting distance pathos

body inert hovering hideous

inscription seduction ideal

idol beckoning taunting shine

upon standing above beyond

away embedded chained punished

deny vision project out

in up down object abyss tomb

goal alibi other end life

subjugate

coerce

extort                                                             control

annihilate                                                        pattern

fetish

principle

death

away                                                           beyond

turning

near

inward

situate

body

constraint

clawing

nausea

exhaust

exterminate

body

end

avoid

deny

freeze

suspend

withdraw

fix

set

place

display                                                         use

artifact                                                 white             teeth

shine                          ideal

setting                      apart

immerse                   action

decision

negation

self

pain

face   body

discordant          conflict

tenuous      ground       fragile    rage

document        message        picture       light             decode             way          round         hopeless         falsify            decline       pleasing          touch                               decay           consume       feel                                               swallow

employ                                                            move

smell

look

talk

feel

assimilate

man

succumb

moment      point

thrust                ideal

shining                back

nothingness

faceless

monologic

self

denial

rendering

consistent

order

smother

perspective

extinguish

will

death

life

restless

despair

lingering       alone      indifferent opaque exhaustion fleeting moments of distraction

incitement

stimulus

crushed

punished

suffocated

diffused into oblivion            unreal

superficial                               naive

wishing it were not so distanced

isolated           regret

consolation

longing for the animality of immediacy

sick house of the dead

necrosis of nostalgia

memory

history

tradition

time

twisted traces corpses shouting within cranium convoluted mass of flesh encased within sheath of bones sutures mesentery muscle cords impulses shooting across synapses coming back re-emerging distorted re-presentations

coming back

uncertainty

lack of record                           lack of validation      manipulation

distortion

thread sways with the greater force

strongest wind

inexorable current

molding

shaping

revising

constructing

projecting

enforcing

indoctrinating

contrived situations structured to evoke pre-calculated thoughts responses actions behaviors feelings attitudes                     hands holding tools employed to assimilate body into symphony of effects organized under the disciplinary command of the conductor

making the piece fit into the puzzle

scenario

a play written long ago for some other actor

some other experiential nexus

looking back wishing that it all would return

same motifs shot back into the face like semen             to keep the body in line

the same old song acting

performing in the play that was written long ago ritualistically repeated over and over for all everyone                             eternal recurrence of monolithic slavish groveling fawning obedience

from the high up regions from the distance one can see view the site the situation as it is

as it is

as it is

eye never escapes the labyrinth the conceptual experiential web                                                   filter

spectacle reprocessed cerebral stench fouls the ears as it resuscitates the lifeless image of the lie

absurdity

those which are not embedded situated

unconditional

absolute

operational dominion

legitimacy                                creation of a pretext             for pre-projected activity pre-meditated systemic disruption laying down the strategic alibi

for a crackdown an extension of control

regulation containment breaking of bodies                                        exploiting contradictions    everything will just fall into place

the script will be performed over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over                         and over

and over                  and over      she wakes up in a new life       it has all changed            all changed over night            nothing has changed at all

but it is all different     changed     it looks the same

it feels the same      it does so at first at first sight

but it has all changed     changed with words

words have changed    change underlying all around all around her surrounding engulfing her making her change

the word has changed now she must change

my              silly little noise vomiting                                     little wench my lovely precious                                    child my beautiful baby my luscious trixster daddy’s little girl

you yourself by your words prove my asserted case

you are irrational

it is such a shame too

but fortunately for me and the family name

it is no longer considered a demonic matter

let us thank the lord god that you will be properly cared for in the psychiatric hospital                             yes yes                                                      there you will be                                        safe and our family can once                              again cultivate its pride and virtue                    as for you out of sight out of mind out of will          how dare you say such things to your daughter you have never treated me properly always as a sniveling child helpless

no no daddy i am strong and i will fight you

this matter will not pass unanswered finalized

it is time that we established a change in the                            way things are run around here

yes that is it one

of the classic signs

of mental illness

flamboyant talk

non-sensical jabber

illusionist fantasies

dreams seem real influencing thoughts there are no distinguishing marks

daughter

i have no daughter

i have never had any children what bring those little shit-faced brats up in an asshole world like this

the sickening foul stench

the nausea                the diarrhea          the suffocation    bring up a daughter

i would kill it first

no daddy you can’t say that do that   it is me            i am your daughter

i am your daughter

it is me

he stares far away oblivious to the hopeless cries

it is me

god dammit it is me it is me it is me

jonathan you sickening faggot take me inside                       my business is finished here

nooooooo daddy you cannot no

she fell to her knees

her body heaves pain

tears burst falling down

hysterical screaming

unending hysterical screaming

over and over and over daddy no it is me

men in white jackets came

took her away

certainly there was no question as to her sanity

she was obviously insane

would you not agree with me dear one that gentleman acted speaking words which were nothing less than stunning

efficient

good

but for what conceivable end            why          for what

but she is my sister have you forgotten that

he is your father

it is you who have forgotten he turns belching out all of it

the decision has been made

it is final

it comes from my mouth these words

she is to be no more

a passionate woman with a passion for revenge

an explosive four hour mini-series the inner sanctum of the mob in the midst of this private circle

she found love

an outsider

she is a member of the family

it is time that you should know a few things about how your life is continually reproduced certified

tired of over-crowded party lines

its live its fun its one on one

in the all star fist fuck

have not eaten in about four or five days

hear you breathing

there is hardly any factory in which there is not a heroine user                   south east asian heroine

coverts operations heroine

genocidal heroine

derived from opium

synthetically produced

related to other opium derived substances

touching the heated tip  iron white or brownish powder

it may be snorted smoked on tobacco injected nausea in the abdomen euphoria pupils constrict tired anxiety

kid needs needs a more powerful fix

body pays heavy price

inflammation deterioration of mucus membrane of

nose separation of mucus membrane septum of nose injection

run the risk of infection

potentially hazardous mixtures cuts

quinine milk sugar strictnine arsenic cyanide starch laxative caffeine

live today for tomorrow you may be dead

tomorrow

additives chronic abscesses mainlining tracks tatoos scare tissue haemorrhagia inflammation of the lymph glands irritated by contaminants

hands become swollen

gangrene finger tips lockjaw tetanus

quinine narrows eyes arteries blurred vision                       deafness vertigo vomiting diarrhea uncontrolled                    spasms tongue shoots out of mouth                          involuntarily bacterial infection in lower spine                   destroying liver in its function of detoxification                 hepatitis discolorization of skin completely yellow                loss of weight walking skeletons kidney failure                    suppresses sexual desire

menstrual abnormalities

slows down digestive process intestinal pain   hemorrhoids

brain heart lungs depress central nervous system floods brain cells becomes dependent on external source              withdraw symptoms sneezes tremor of tongue nausea vomiting sweating aching hot              cold sweats skin becomes clammy restless irritable legs feet jerk           fungus blocking arteries              abscesses blood boils amputation pulmonary edema death

needle still inserted in the corpse

tuberculosis mass of abscesses breathing shallow insufficient oxygen weight loss pneumonia cough up heavy flem pain in stomach AIDS

tree young tree bush tree rushing pushing apart about leaves             rows of leaves twirling around bottom                                 light                                  surface casting between shadow

faces gnawing

faces projecting out casting about across with against                  faces move in unison joined at the trunk                together faces           crying out grasping                  clawing to break out away from illusion locked up                neck chained         tomb                    suffocating        tomb         body            constriction holding        it         down        frenzied

claustrophobia shaking screaming saliva streaming

eyes       bulging          burning brain gasping guttural squeals      no relief             illusion of difference monolithic common swill engulfs swinging along together away shielding glances                          pulling eyes away                         flickering turning away wind rushing through leaves racing pulsing about around

quakes trembling

horizontal on bed          horror engulfs eyes                  images chaotically race through head

body distorts under pressure of raging blood

clutches face head            crushing eyes with heals of hands tearing at sweat-drenched hair                 grinding teeth                  small streams of saliva leak running down unshaven chin down over neck chest saliva burns skin forming small pool on sternum digging fingernails into skin attempting to quench teasing pain screaming slivers tear away

beads of blood become streams

jumping up out of bed wearing dirty ripped boxer shorts

spinning wide-eyes glaring into darkness  small room without heat

leave me alone mouth gasps

what do you want from me

running over to window pushing face against cold pane of glass crying as cat face hands loosening slipping across glass knees buckling underneath rolling down onto side cupping hands over face muttering

what do you want why will you not just leave me alone resting head down onto cold wooden floor

becomes quiet still

eyes seal cementing with evaporating tears nose runs with mucus intermittent wiping with index finger                                       whimpering clasps knees to chest lightly rubbing hair on backs of legs

falling into light state of sleep

breathing shallow

mouth cracks open slightly

tongue protrudes between lips ashtrays full of cigarette butts scattered haphazardly

one spilt into rusty sink affixed to wall

filled consumed by soiled dishes

branching spores of mold

emanating horrible stench rotting tissue roaches edge out from shelter with calm surveying decomposing reality

rats and mice roam small cabinet adjacent to sink echoing screeches of scratching gnawing

water faucet monotonously drips into standing water

breezes whistle through cracked window pushing curtains aside kicking old newspapers

headlights flash across room illuminating disarray refrigerator stands unplugged powerless door wedged open by chair                       rotten food decays on shelves

milk curdles sour stale permeating room

maggots slither through piles of garbage clumped near door                       roach moves from sink to garbage

springing feet stop screaming

i beg you go away

throwing books across room crashing into walls scurrying toward sink throwing dishes

roaches running for cover

putrid mass in sink clings to hands

hesitating head shuttering eyes freeze hands choking

no you cannot do it my-my skin i cannot                            decay now no not yet

running toward closet door tripping over small stool crashing face down cutting arms forehead in slivers of broken dishes                       clenching tears pain grips face

lines of blood cut paths into neck

slowly back onto feet

hands pull jagged pieces of glass from skin               blood falling to floor

approaching closet door turns knob slowly    hearing clicking sound                 searching for light switch                                    turning on bright glare strikes spouting no

cut into door wooden floor deep bloody claw marks brain remembers

smear of blood leading to depths of closet fury mass lying in back appearing to exist in motion

pushing aside clothes on hangers obscuring vision

on floor lay dog half-eaten by rats with one bloody paw                      hysterical punching swinging encircling room

falls over lamp setting on television

crashing down explodes on impact         running toward kitchen slipping on garbage                 smashes head on edge of sink breaking off wall           sucked to floor     lying unconscious nearby rat perches licking up fresh blood

another eyes body

sudden realization of biting pain lunges to feet

grabbing head between hands pushing together to crush brain

face red sweat clings to hair forehead

large veins bulge from neck

streams of spit run from mouth

gasping breathless guttural sounds

squealing groans spit out into air

flies lay eggs into open flesh of dog                              body rocks to maintain balance

water gushes from broken pipe jetting from wall

hands fumble stained cup fill with brown water

raise to lips              sucks in                   swallows cup slips                  scatters to floor

echoes crisp ring          waking slowly squirming in bed beneath shredded woolen blanket opening eyes room pulsates into focus  ceiling glares at body with cracks water stains

cob webs span corners of room

spider lies wait for victim coming unexpectantly

rolling over to side

clasping base of neck

blankets withdrawn exposing pale thin undeveloped body  stillness infected monotonous breathing drones throughout room falling asleep lost in shrouded visions

rays of sun peak through crusted panes of glass gently caressing room

colorful objects blanket floor

outside world moves in seeming misdirection

small dog loiters near sewer

old blind man hobbles toward fish market fish sold whole or as filets caught on harbor front by illegal aliens

leaves dance along sidewalk brushing against parked cars covered with film of tarnished ice

slowly maneuvers into sitting position takes long deep breath exhales with slight sneer

stands up steps on piece of glass hopping around on one foot groping anxiously at lamp post clutches foot surveys damage small cut but would probably infect         walking over to toilet directly across from kitchen                urinating with left hand on hip

leans head back taking deep breath

holds it for duration of excretion

pulling up boxer shorts

side-steps to tooth-paste splattered mirror

brain does not recognize face

eyes hollow darkness shadowing paleness of face

walking over to sink

splashing face with milky water

wipes with wad of clothing lying near toilet

turns surveying room

no grasp of events situations of previous night

pictures images flash emerging with no coherent memory walking across room to door dodging broken glass scattered garbage                                          opens door peaking head out into hallway

small boy pretending to be major league pitcher tosses rubber            ball against mattress at end of corridor

body walks across toward stairwell

turns knob opens door

feeling possessed by eyes

turning little boy stares inquisitively focusing on ball     near feet boy looks up into eyes

asking hey mister little help

continuing to stare at boy as in trance

boy once again asks with no response

little boy runs toward ball snags it returns to previous position whispering hey mister what is wrong with you

eyes stare confusedly

why are you just wearing underwear you crazy or something

mother runs from cubicle grabbing scolding boy

glares come inside here right now you do not want to talk to him lightly spanks little boy rubbing eyes crying away into flat mother sneers why don’t you just do something

you are nothin’ but scum

focusing down toward carpet

look at me when I talk to you

i said look at me

mother screams attacking lashing out painful blows

continuing to stare mind far away two leaves race to ground knocked off old tree by frantic squirrel

restless despair

longing        mourning         seeking to begin once again

that which was lost     destroyed      annihilated

memory fades

failing in the reconstruction

contours project out possibilities

memory gives way                        transparent looking glass door opens under the pressure of the caress of rays from the hallway lamp the moon the stars the suns

dark light traces disperse tease fumbling in the mire looking back         failing to see prohibitive distances             hurl the shroud        suffocating the face the mouth losing everything as it was

as it was

as it was

as it was

arbitrarily prepared in its exactness        seeking to go back retrieve that which was lost             just days ago but only realized moments ago

it is gone it is no longer present no longer there to be                reinforced expanded manipulated nothing left except             scattered traces an ethos is gone a climate a situation is missing absent mangled pieces remain unprepared unincorporated                       non-functioning non-determining not displayed              just rotting pieces             memory fails to grasp                 that which was present only traces threads remain                        torn from the inconceivable fabric

ripped slashed burned out residue remaining                        after the putting into the fabric

it was not completed it had only just begun

that which was lost is irretrievable

a miserable light of hope remains extended in the brain

memory regained

we lose our ability to forget          i lose the ability to forget              remembering the eternal

the totality

we simply remember it reappears memory is not after all requisite it remains absent hope sickly consolation exterminated put away in its place where it belongs away

the door does not open will not open there is no door

it is there here previous efforts disintegrated falling away forgotten distanced

streams rushed past caressing her as she mechanically descends the staircase around and around and down scratching fluid surfaces with her heels breaking twisting falling colliding smashing lashing stillness she long blond hair she supple smooth soft succulent taste she lay panting succumbing to the pull the weight sweat mixes blood squirting out over her thighs

yet that is not everything certainly not

that is not the entire affair

it has been lost it is absent

this does not retrieve the lost

the absent

the missing

there was much more much much more but there is no hope in retrieval

shall we lament our loss forever erecting a monument to the dead that which has not even yet been put to rest the twisted festering remains decay emitting foul sickening stench disintegrating pulling down increasing the weight the heaviness

shall we not begin afresh sweeping away the debry the toxic waste clearing the head being not able to remember forgetting destroying the virulent suffocation the muffled drum necrophilia winds soar across the spatial extension shouting kicking mutilating threads sway with the strongest wind pushing out beyond preserving distance whispering desperately across over under the past that which had been but is no more the destruction of the past occurs within the present speaks to the present is the present the present cannot be saved through an annihilation of that which is no more

you certainly must apprehend that you are incorrect do you not the past endures as traditional institutionalized matrices of parasitism distraction

we may distinguish ourselves in the present from the past on the basis of future expectation              yet no one knows the future is that not the case certainly you are not a psychic it must be admitted even by such an affirmative nihilist as yourself that present action based on future expectations is exactly that which brings the future the next enduring present you seek neither the future nor the past but only the present that which you wish to annihilate

i seek not the annihilation of the present only partial aspects which can be traced historically and determined   to be regressive existents

sir you fail to listen to hear my gentle whispers to feel my soft caresses the past and the future are not yours at this time these will never be your possessions you are situated within the present always scratching at the eternal surface residue waste generated via your inscriptions building up around you you seek to hide your waste in the ground your residue you cannot it is you it is your present

but you do not understand yourself you are only wind you are wind i am different i am not you nor am i like you you are not me i am different i have the past and the future within me i need this these i i anticipate i remember these are mine and mine alone you could not possibly see these

it is all laid out for you right there in front of you audio-visually on the screen take it grab it only for the small sum of the blind obedient submission to the fabricated idol             an idolatry of the child

innocence

the natural way

the free play of exploration                    adventure

joyful intimacy of the moment

the loss of self in the situation

the fluent bodily gestures interplays

the symphony of movements of the body beautiful moving sufficient body the erotic sensual sensuous sexual supple subtle wonderful tickling licking pinching sucking caressing the smooth gentle touch the beautiful flutter of the tongue as it engulf the succulent kiss the warm breath exchange the active immersion into another being the certainty of purchased interaction consent joy children of rousseau wiped out by woodstock a romance with nature

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

WAIT A MINUTE STOP RIGHT THERE

YOU CAN LOOK LISTEN BUT YOU CANNOT TOUCH

distant witnessing spectator observing watching seeing simulation

a phone whore beckons me to experience my personal freedom                  an fbi agent distorts the entirety of the message                     liar

opportunist

terrorist

a bastard from the utter depths of hell

a bold black haired loser trying to make himself look sound seem interesting

a big enlightened dick

a pseudo back to the sixties guilt ridden too conservative and inhibited to actually participate in any protest during the so-called disobedient sixties

too cool to let go

too moderate to draw the line

too bald to go out into the sun

trying now to live up to his generation’s pre-fabricated processed image

the stupid new age ecology conscious yuppy

going yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup all day long                  dancing like a trained dog

jumping through the hoops

occupying the former neighborhoods of the poor as the new gentry guilt leads them to emulate their benevolent image co-opted by dominating organization corporations who wish to bring a tear to your eye about the death of a woodchuck when corporate policies lead to the deaths of millions distortion

lie opulent utter absurdity

lying manipulating bastards liars   murderers continued distortion molding foolishness utter submission idiocy of the herd the blind stupid masochistic submission to the word of the leader the fuhrer sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil sieg heil

it was no ordinary day for her or anyone like her to say the least to say all we can say are allowed to say now at least the least we can say now that it has happened

she did not respond in time

she did not have sufficient strength

she was brutally crushed into subjugation broken like a colt bound up against the post her mouth tightly gagged her resistance pounded her body constrained her voice silenced her rebellion disintegrated annihilated

the door opened slowly thy room dark shivering breezes directed curtains newspapers

little water drops drip down onto the figure the body the form shrouded by torn blanket

naked body dirty body

sickly body coughs irrepressible explosions shake

twisted shape      moaning restless movement  pipes knock in the walls

visions coalesce dreams images serially articulated shot out scattering across the dark space shot inside frenzied waves shattered displaced into clouds of static waves distorted quivering waves displaced shaken out the door slammed she bolted out down the staircase down and around guided by the pull

the man

the male stands at the top looking down laughing reveling in the moment the hour had come the time when things were made right put back into the place where it all belongs     heckling belches strewn down swirling around

near flawless reconstruction movement adheres circumstances those days procession spectator carried away clouds gently floating past city emerges out clouds beautiful old buildings thousands marching faceless columns crowds cheer extend right arms chanting ceaselessly roaring three successive hails to victory triumphant arrival carrying viewer away pageantry event happening constructed labyrinth meanings web symbols present message spectator carried organized effort

concrete base physical presence no physical influence exerted organization individual no propaganda personification operational base production overall direction artistic direction business management camera assistants aerial photographs music sound dubbing march music architectural arrangements motion picture sets newsreels censorship distribution seen total effect organize orchestrate movement obedient participation millions national unity organizational center synchronization nation forces intended audience first foremost themselves

masses

target message reconciliation prosperity mass persuasion draw audience into action empathize exuberant enthusiasm happiness people being visited heroic leader

leader

primordial re-awakening continuous essence selective editing construct sequence tempo events articulate associations recurrent image young Aryan men insertion faces smiling children close ups long shots voices mass cut away vigilant eye Fuhrer

flag disorientation process normal configuration event transformed diffusing perspective movement spectacle opening cloud sequence river flags dissolve self-willed movement fractured light turbulent waves disorientation active movement

viewer flight carried movement presence stationary ground external observer participant vivid associations projected reinforced dissolve fading out end image maintained underlying next sequence continuity association dual                                             perspective

flag

behind presence cheering crowd recurrent symbolic imagery smoke

steam

mist

fire

lights

smoke hovers interspersing crowds night surrounded torches burning shining unfocussed primordial reality everyone dissolved en masse nation volk will nation triumph constant presence leader

descends

clouds

after

crucifixion

flying

eagle

coming

home

people

flock

herd

coming second coming nation people years hardship division overcome food plentiful

jobs everpresent

purification

renewal

unify

people

one country one people one fuhrer synchronized operation technical effects audio-imagery come together systematic harmonization audience within movement event loss perspective editing disorientation uproot perspective individual mere physical presence among others

individual

physically

lifted

message of unity tribal ceremonies of birth initiation marriage burial installation translate individual life crises life deeds impersonal forms technical orchestration seduces access myth outset light presentation movement   demonized truth regime novelty worn off    techniques interference   minimalistic connection farmer manual laborer ideological propaganda time mass gathering shoulder   calmly walked forward monument   visual effect    partitioned obedient mass   negative propagandistic expertise conjoined artistic process   bring forth new world order  boundary lines dissolve people dissolve movement savior redeemer

complex subtle path life intent life     non-existent process articulates life work

aspects surface phenomenon indicators symptoms signs phenomena complex allegory     turbulent history    criminal traitor destruction native state suffocating

foul

air

engulfing

life

confinement prison metaphor destructive madness modern dilemma uncertainty diremption western culture emergent declining universalist abysmal conflict eyes conflict expression fundamental tenuousness modern life

struggle

authority autonomous secularized zones strongholds counter force rigid dogmatism suffocation tradition celebrated enlightenment modernism fragmented incomplete contradictory state of being opening against site simultaneous turning away self-denial turns away travel other life one-sided life symptom epochal inadequacy center innocence

childhood

immediacy

unity

life world indicator situation culture liturgical whole autonomy freedom diremption bifurcation modern life opposition partial constrained systemic needs requirements profit accumulation captivity pathos suffering exploration freedom neutrality metaphor prison segmentation life separation life primal commodity bought sold pale image enslavement

enslavement modern project pathos distance

internal dynamic

ongoing operation

estrangement tradition essential disunity past mistrust community conflict universalism religious orthodoxy thread missing link primordial aspect underlies conflictual state of being intimations primal ground sustenance divorcement uncertainty revelled wild chaotic musical expression music opposed plastic flows unbroken instinctual

life force river enigma life tendency opposes molds channels inarticulate force interacting emergent aesthetic unity illusory character

value complex necessary for the self-preservation of a species a page of nietzsche

inarticulate parallels illiteracy nature music flows masks neutral free nature indifferent human aspirations                                                  life

mysterious

dark

parallel

venture depths indifference neutrality music answer question religious youth driven by the primal force of nature being one nature mystery genius shrouded masks seeks indifference harmony melody inarticulate raw force phenomena nature world spirit other plastic expression articulation intelligible living whole world mind world spirit mind nature link form demiurge

we are far removed from this nature this trust thrust for

we can listen but never discern meaning inarticulate without voice distanced remains distanced from us nature mysterious uncanny standing alone misunderstood nature fundamental detachment primordial activity of listening portray modern temptress of nature manipulator subduer

— a sphinx — concrete alienation

constitutive of an era in which humans cannot listen

cannot take cues

direction

presencing being nature scientific paradigm necessitates state of affairs ruthless mastery natural objectification nature life thing studied looked out utilized mechanism social training articulation project romantic return to nature fragmentation contemporary life autonomous sphere irreversible penetrate discordant primordial pulsation realm indifferent nature climaxes self-destructive madness propaganda oppositional conflictual existence modern radical striving immediacy state of unity nihilistic project  modernism negative originary dichotomy reasserted confrontational non-neutrality divorced

free expression inarticulate voice instrumentalized inarticulate primordial utilized vehicle articulation advocacy expression music inscribed matrix modern possessing itself era organically interpenetrated liturgy serving higher designs of god culture modern era servant slave subjugation profitable accumulation horrors

down she flings from despair to despair

abyss

uttermost hopelessness

hopeless vision aspirations initiated search for unity striving false neutrality delusionary freedom displaced pathetic wish for relief escape grasping thread leading out labyrinth retreat disillusionment tragic hero core of things deluded distorted self-destructive fragmented life horror suffocated imprisoned life tempts escape crushed

submission

destruction

life

web of unlikely paradoxical characters necessity of masks error contradiction

common thread endure life thrown diversity tolerance fallibility

young sincere dying liar opportunist nihilist falsehood emotional blackmail weapons travel

free thinker atheist philosopher illusion nothingness which is existence ashamed suffers calls attention renames herself ugliness suffers pathos pain false mask philosophy consolation lets down her guard for the young man who kisses her she sees pure innocence behold her inarticulate servant daughters her vulnerability

she sits naked exposed she sees the man in his lie He Christian hypocrite manipulator she lets down her mask her mask her gaze penetrates nothingness she would not suffer mask durable existence

young man sees through illusions training for viable reproduction learning interaction exchange information technique experiences everyday life everyday engender contradiction process life individual live maintain life falsehood deception construction projection masks masks lie

characters stand exposed naked vulnerable weakened masks constructed order shield eyes

imperfection lives inevitability individual deaths masks forms of life cease to exist numb pain hide truth necessary hostile preservation expansion life higher plagued contradictions character cries out proclamation truth pure noble away life hides fundamental ground divorced conditions possibility situations characters real activity interaction characters ideas expressed situations

ideas shroud words cover up conflict end ideas displaced ineffectual face vulnerability naked flux

loses her head she cannot think anymore she could take step back situation see through young man she is dependent on him she rushes with feelings mask removed her privacy her shame common thread contradiction lies masks employed reproduce durable life situations

basic link physiological negativity of desire passion

for satiation for durability thrusts body into world forces body to interact world necessitating construction tools masks alibis

nothingness drives us to negate throughout our passage through time our march to death sentiment too busy with progressive quest for knowledge infinite think thoughts of god before creation

we see ourselves procession of time reflect on our existence appreciate tenuousness existence rejoice we are alive celebrate other deny other trick other to let down their guard only to crush them we construct lies to shield us masks keeping us masks intrinsically necessary

she

escapes

labyrinth thread order perspective questions return she talks intestines vomiting she masks woman she possesses wisdom arising her durable hardworking existence

she is immersed in delusion she is not any less aware than anyone else she is embedded within the same existential predicament she works endures her simple life perspective possible interpretation suggestion innocent children differential circumstances

transient irrelevancy within the span of time and being

fleeting flicker nothing entombment inexorable execution death

sentenced to death

seeds of death accompany birth seeds of destruction coming to be passing away

the economy of unconcealment concealment mickey mouse is a nazi

indifferent recurring incessant ceaseless alteration scratching the eternal surface inscribing our lack our death enacting the death ritual

displaying the corpse before the death cleaning the body suitably decorating the body for display displaying the corpse for the spectators the bereaved bringing forth the best face as to be remembered in a fine respectable beautiful light busily running to and fro gathering together breaking apart moving about here and there getting ready making ready performing the dance of death the frenzied hysterical dance of entombment insignificance non-existence entangled within the matrix of infinite surfaces irretrievable origins clinging to torn threads grasping hold seeking a way out a look beyond consolation from the nausea the fear the isolation the hopelessness the inevitability the encroaching absence eclipse of presence carrying the self beyond itself into a realm from which it is absent death a fiction for the one who dies death a form of living their is no experience of death only the ritual preparation for this event dreading this happening forestalling this occurrence walking the path of death towards death living dead always already dead the body lies stiff on the slanted marble operating table concentrations of blood pockets of blood congeal around the posterior the back via gravity the lips are cracked open dry man wearing apron approaches the body with a hose which trickles a mild stream of water onto the bluish-white surface of the body cleaning the body purifying the body the hose is set down the man picks up a razor blade encased in a holder slashes the right side of the neck of the body he puts his gloved fingers into this hole and isolates the juggler the primary artery he ties it off with a small length of white string he slices an opening down along the artery he fills up a glass chamber with a green cleansing agent together with a small concentration of embalming fluid formaldehyde preservative yet agent of decomposition ensuring the complete annihilation of the remains of the body the corpse he takes hold of the tube emanating from the machine housing the glass chamber he inserts the nozzle at the tip of the hose into the sliced opening on the artery he ties it off to secure the seal of the interconnected tubes he turns on the machine which pumps the contents of the glass chamber into the body into the corpse through the hole in the artery the gash the slash in the neck the body expands noticeably in size the cleansing agent intermixes with the blood the formaldehyde conjoins to the blood proteins fixes blood protein the man approaches the neck of the green fluid filled body unties the string and withdraws the nozzle at the tip of the hose in the absence of constraint the blood cleanser formaldehyde-protein complexes pulsate streaming out of the next down the grooves of the slanted marble table and down the drain out into the city sewer system mixing with acids breaking the formaldehyde blood protein bond freeing the blood the man approaches the body the corpse with the hose cleansing the remainder of the blood hanging in small droplets he reinserts the nozzle turns on the machine filling the body with preservative containing a pink coloring agent the body is shaped before it becomes fixed into position by the embalming fluid the laceration in the neck is sewn up with thick thread the hair on the head of the body is wettened and combed back away from the face cleansed body is transferred to gurney and moved into the finishing room makeup skin colored powder is placed on the skin to make it seem life like preserved cleansed a coat of silicon spray is administered once the make up job is fully applied the hair is done curled blown dry under a drier the head of the body reclines in the chair with curlers in its hair it is placed on a table clothes are put on the body bras underware dresses pants a picture is supplied by the legal representatives to allow some approximation of resemblance the body is placed in the coffin transported to the viewing room the sterile room walls covered by flowers eerie organ music droning above people standing looking at the dead body commenting on how good it looks it is clean pure its blood is in the sewer system it is water proof tears slide off without staining the ritual is performed the death was endured spiritualized actualized performed always preparing for death waiting for what will never come for she who waits the death ritual the death industry the eight billion dollar per year funeral home industry dumping blood into the sewers and ruining precious open expanses of land for the dollar with the bodies of the dead the raw material the bounty of nature god’s gift the commodity the dead body the vultures hover above watching the living bodies fall prey to the contagions released upon the living the living infected so that they may be dead dead bodies to be bought and sold

measuring the performance of the contagion monitoring its proliferation watching its expansion of presence horizons of behavioral constraint introduced not subject to control reshaping cleansing refining breeding selecting implementing a concrete enforcement mechanism backing up strictures previously a matter of personal choice with a selective criteria an ultimatum a punishment for possible transgression

the transgressor will be exterminated

agnosticism disappears

the decision beckons the terrain calls us out to decide no longer between freedom and slavery but between slavery and the risk of death do we take the risk to avoid slavery do we submit to slavery for the fear of the risk of death to death itself do we take the risk or do we become slaves do we allow the same monotonous song to play on as it seduces us into the stupor of intoxication the loss of self the subsumption of all into the entombment the captivity the unconscious slavery the unity of command undifferentiated homogenous fabricated falsified mass the sleeping herd succumbing to the repetitious pulsating discordance of the shepherd’s flute

the obedient chorus of submission slavish vile pigs selling themselves so they can be patted stroked on the heads like the naughty vicious cretins that they are sub-human parasites bloating vomiting festering leeches hanging off the asshole of the superhuman leader mein Fuhrer rubbing his asshole picking off the leeches smashing them under the heal of the boot the little useful less idiots click thine heals for the man the mass procession away from the sentimentalized extorted terrorized horrorified painful death into the tomb of subjugation suffocation death becomes superfluous desirable escape meaningless anti-climatic fading away putting the lifeless slave out of its misery not even the strength to put an end to it not even aware in the first place a small cork sinks within the raging ocean eclipsed into insignificance dust blows over erasing the tenuous inscriptions the artifacts the document is obliterated within the ceaseless flux of fluid chaotic surfaces never ceasing alteration fading away into nothingness the one opening that you had have the one chance to live is sold to the merchant of death of decay of tradition of the belief of another

pre-fabricated pre-packed ideologies personal identities lives there have been many of you

there are many of you

all around everywhere

the air is crippled fogged permeated with your stench the stench of decay living according to a formula that was constructed long ago having nothing to do with you you who were thrown into this world you who have no moral or legal obligations to anyone or anything you who are simply here have no other connection to others other than a mere physical contiguity implying no further connection no responsibility no rules no laws no beliefs no burdens no history

this is not you

you

primal freedom

you

manipulated broken made to fit conform transformed shaped made into put into your role in the never ending lie the big sham of false security selling away your body to the merchants of death missing your only chance realizing too late not even realizing perpetually asleep seduced by the rhythmic sounds entombed within the bliss of ignorance

the images projected onto you

if you are even that

you are not you are what they make you into your role your gender assignment your place you have no freedom if you fear risking the death that will never come for you the wind carves indifferently away at our faces removing the glow carrying away the freshness casting it dispersing it exterminating the signs of life it matters not at all it is reduced to nullity you will be forgotten you will leave not a trace during your time

within the time in which you will be will function will operate endure live within the ordered temporal framework you will obediently submit to your insignificant role then you will die forfeiting your one and only chance your one and only possibility your life you —- but you forget yourself you give yourself away so you won’t have to deal with this confront this this your one and only chance it is just too much for you to bear your life you you give yourself away to becoming a pawn in another’s game someone else’s dream someone else’s life not your life for your life is not your life anymore it may never have been your life at all

you are a piece of property owned in your essence by another

you are a witness to your own subjugation you watch your body being controlled you obediently follow the prescriptions laid down by those who own you you relish in the rights you can count on both hands inconsequential rights relative to your condition of actual servitude mere lip service shiny trinkets waved in front of your eyes as you perform like a circus freak not realizing your pathetic wretched state of being since everyone else the mass the herd behaves just as you do like a torrent of sickening wretched trained domesticated pathetic neutered slaves you and your role

you in your role

you are your role

your role

the same role as everyone else everyone’s role the role the way the eternal repetition recurrence of the same the same roles scenarios problems questions tasks monotony boredom purposeless self abasement self torture submission surrender fear you are not an individual you are merely a herd animal no matter how decorated well-mannered clean you are these things are symptoms epiphenomena of your enslavement your banality your lack of existence your aren’t even alive enough to die yet that is all you think about even when you banish the thought from your stream of opaque semi-awareness the incessant barrage the urge the affirmation reinforcement enforcement constant the constant the continual enduring impression constant presence of the same message the same lie scattered diffused concentrated shocking the eyes the ears the touch the smell the taste the assault on the body infiltrating the cracks the metabolic reproduction impulsive violent actions break the mold the monotony the web of boredom silly ridiculous dramatic scenarios roles for the body to inhere within the situation the opportunity the chance to break out the illusion of the outside the escape the ongoing the ceaseless nightmare waiting for the horror to evaporate in the heat of the daylight events shock the body into systemically disruptive activities posturing pushing out the envelop transgressing to see how far one can go before being radically immersed within the tomb of constraint modification sublimation spiritualization of desire energy employed channeled co-opted movement crawling around consuming pieces strands bits of the corpse of the dead god wishing to construct new idols new lies to fill the void thy position within the unaffected terrestrial configuration the operational configuration the matrix of functioning surfaces become the new god

the beautiful blond woman strips off her threads heaves her thighs arches her back caresses grasping across supple tender moistness arching the back clawing into the smooth cold marble on the altar knocking over the cup the chalice spilling the blood shouting moaning sucking dripping blood the fear the delirious quaking shape dances in the darkness breathing the still air fucking the fingers of the virgin the statue of the mother rubbing the sheath over the lips of the madonna streams flow down the cool cheek over the hair of the blessed child shattering moaning screams echoes in the muffled drum the lifeless useless structure the place the site sucking the cock of the crucified through the soiled garment the soft smooth breasts sway as she rubs the labia the clitoris over the nail pierced foot of the anointed one it has her name on it inscribed on the back cut into the back the fire captivates the pile of dried spent lumber seeking to make amends to make things still calm bringing the things back into order to put these things into their proper places to let be

listen to the crafting wind as it cuts the landscape emboldens the young boy urged on to do what you fear most what he fears most what he mustn’t do shall not do must not think about the opposite of what he must do must think about he talks to the other little boy he lay on the foam mattress his legs spread his hand playing carelessly with the phone line he pushed back his black hair closing his eyes his mouth slightly cracked open exposing red brown gums punctured by teeth he gently hugs a flowered pillow rolling over naked feet jetting out parallel caressing tan wall to wall carpet black and gold wire framed spectacles lay near the fringe of the sleeping space reflecting the incandescent desk lamp setting on the floor fan oscillates back and forth as his face beams toward the ceiling torn pieces of thread emanate from his jeans dancing in the breeze

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

extended

duration

sexual interaction

two boys

laying

together

after much talk much reassurance disguised hot talk discussion using the magazine survey to validate the action reading the survey that say it is ok saying that most young boys have had some sort of self-similar sexual encounter using this as a justification legitimization for what they both want what each wants to have happen here what they each want to feel experience these boys trying to get to the state where each no longer has to must wear a mask getting down to it grasping out grabbing caressing the other softly erect penis feeling the spontaneously moving into into moving into position silently serenely pausing at the horizon of the beyond taking it in taking the erect penis into the mouth sucking sucking harder moving mouth across throbbing penis sliding in and out as the boys suck and suck and suck in harder deeper drawling down down deep into the throat sucking in and out licking voraciously sucking eating sucking chewing throat drowned in shots bathing semen shot draining pulsating flooding out sucking out down sucking in swallowing down licking gently sucking down down __

<<<<<<<unleash the power the forces into action break up the prison of conformity by any means necessary no turning back no looking back??????????>>>>>>

driving over the edge of the cliff sending the body over into the abyss lunging forward outside over into the never ending abyss bottomless void the hole flying outside into within the abyss the lightness the sending never touching the ground never landing hitting flying smears pass smears present feel the terror of chaos flying into and within the abyss the lightness flying through the never ceasing flux the only eternity the amorphous inexorable change the chaotic purposeless becoming striving chance streaming across slippery surfaces down up across over under plunging into the hole of indistinguishabilty directionless goalless commandless putting positing placing the body into the hole she moves she stretches she re-positions herself becomes still motionless gigantic structures overpower penetrate the body encompass the physicality of the smallness of the single entity the single female the part the cog the pawn — one day we will see our brother again as we leave this cemetery let us remember that one day will will be united once again with our brother the lord jesus the christ the servile flunky the fly the spit the roller the axis spindle spool hinge like a horse in the mill the lifeless hopeless recurrence of nothingness  red hot skin burn sun

two bodies approach one another encircling each around the other walking in a circle facing the other sensing the presence of the other distance encirclement drawing closer standing nearer approach feeling immediacy nearness listening to the breath of the other seeing eyes refracted glimpses images of self in the eyes gentle caress of each the other’s cheek with back of hand turning hand slowly over touching grasping neck hand glides over shoulder sliding over grasping other hand joining stroke neck grasping hair running hands through across tracing contours of ear with finger grasping hands holding both hands below slowly gently ascending stretching upwards bodies come to rest touching each the other faces close seeing eyes arms slowly descending hands come to rest fondling each the other the other’s waist moving cupped clenched hands around back pressing softly muscles hands grope forward over sides under arms tickling stroking top of chest under neck fingers encircle supple breasts face descends tongue saturates nipple licking across lips engulf gently sucking biting tasting gliding hand over buttocks down around sliding tickling steamy moist hair sucking nipple blanketing massaging other breast fingers entering within into wetness streams breath startled gasping moans tongue descending over navel kisses caress inner thighs slowly encircling labia sucking into licking across drinking juices flow tongue dancing over clitoris labia sucking silky flesh in flickering tongue erect clitoris chaotic nibbling sucking tasting bringing clitoris within sucking gasping moaning screams echo fingers hands grasp neck pushing in harder deeper tender moans musty flowing sucking drinking quaking screams arch back moans guttural grasping breaths

shattered broken windows dark holes jagged fence breaking down crowned with coils of barbed wire metal gates span doorway keeping out empty building broken down chain link fence torn out abandoned black car between building & fence garbage paper plastic strewn collecting gathered factory exhaust fan pulsates behind plastic pieces quiver on barb wire white sedan races passes leaves branches dance swirling flickering rays wind jabs raking hair overhang braced by steel rods tires stacked cast about fence rusted water tank embedded in corner scattered refuse smaller branches branches pushed out path of wind heaved over bending back into position white light scatters in the window yellow street light glows lying alone curled up next to the sleeping breathing body of an other away alone with the hiss of scattered movements hiss filling the street void activity breathing lying alone next to her lying there alone distance away restless alone constraint distance engulfs consumes drives struggle to subdue intimations of transgression otherness paranoia walls eyes crashing down weakening the tenuous constellation lying there breathing alone next to the breathing body asleep away touching touching outside alone feeling never remaining together disjointed chaotic dance of distance divide between among within lacking feeling away alone isolated contemplating difference impermanence intransigent distance away alone restless frustration crowned by isolation superficial desires deferred taking what comes along satiety displaced direction movement variety stagnation paralysis distance pathos away alone suspect isolated body breathes next to sleeping body breathing dreaming away alone of somewhere away bodies touch lying still breathing sleeping body sets moving away through stillness away alone lack stifling heat isolation despair monotonous constancy partial incomplete lack negativity desire unfulfilled too far away to see touch hear tasting fluid feeling away alone doubt paralyses stagnation claustrophobia hysteria suffocation constraint lack episodic infrequence bleeding within lying alone breathing listening touching sucking licking legs skin lying alone breathing listening to breath of body sleeping next to body breathing two bodies lying still eyes open seeing body other body breathing asleep away inaccessible alone with you needing to find another word a shorter word for cunnilingus the body pulsates churning smiling canopy glancing down upon luscious contours ornamenting disarray scattered twisted sheets exposing blue mattress stained brown blood sets still

driven to the extremes to the limit to the lengths of frustration

despair through isolation marginality neglect omission disregard intolerance restrictive constrictive mental straitjackets tightening vice squeezes brain tight monotrac idiocy suffocating suppressing repressing annihilating situational variation spin

doctored

damage

control regime moving ahead calculated oblivious arrogant refusal lies eat away at the body picking apart probing dismembered carcass coughing blood beaten into pulp head of body mounted on stake demonstration warning threat extortion violation genocide killing off the relative surplus slave sector the restless herd mob rabble flock brood gaggle smoking dried strawberry leaves to see if it will do anything in the head to the head to the space between jaded plastered over yellow brick building tall narrow eaten wooden pole stretching thin cord looping cord within the window cord decorated damp clothing swaying in the breezes small brown bird flashes past window cinderblock cube stick two wooden pieces smaller piece tilted diagonal relative to grid wall fire escape landing hang multi-colored clothing array small birds play ragged newspapers roof branched tentacles leaves probe swirling air caressing interacting fondling green black red blue white gray                              tiny red ribbon caught on steel chainlinked fence struggling in wind to break out small potted plant waves to large moss-draped tree blanketed mid-afternoon sunlight

his voice monotonous dragging drone never ending cello sings songs melancholy longing despair birds perform world frantically rambling deflected streams of light free flowing jazz shakes up in room pulsating energetic rhythm car tires scratch dry rock feverish gnawing screech fly flies near windowsill

insects everywhere in nexus of variation makeshift curtain sheet thing sucked out window pliable displacement explosion report reverberating echoing bouncing sending alley voice below outside window plastic crackles between grinding hands window shade crooked relative to proportional determination of room small structure written spray paint billy pieces metal dance together ringing as a bell canvass possibly upsidedown about

deferring discussion of the present by speaking of that which is no longer

lost wild boys lost little boys away among the trees still flux river currents churn within beneath gentle sheets lost away into beyond around away cancel their subscription to the resurrection ceaseless meaningless functional duration declining refusing escaping carried away into walking running away into a world of their own their world away into far away surrounding us engulfing us beckoning us from within calling signalling carrying away into around taunting groping grasping seducing the body away into around within accent sends fractured mind away to that which has been but is no longer seeing that which had been seeing through projecting onto superimposition dislocated metaphor calling to mind sending across within beyond the little one runs away into over into within kicking rocks from the path running towards seeing ahead streams race past face body approaching the one who is there over there standing over against beyond immediate inarticulate presence shines shows masks scattered bits fluctuate away into among beyond away

<<<<<<transparencies looking from thin layers of gray curtains __ c╟£ÖÆìΦ▄█┌┘╪╫╓╒¯æ6Ab­6R▐πõ╓*#nτxm+Ü_,7σT(±Q>>>>>>>>

the bloated disgusting body sagging perverse twisted eyes bulging slouched pompous pretentious manipulative bastard ass white man puking out idyllic rhetoric monotony ensnares brain flesh lulling to sleep monotonous flows stream out of mouth his throat saturating exterminating ear in the firing line of his vomitous tunnel trip monological babble extending terrain via exaggerated shocks to the lacerated skull beckoning the juices to emerge red silking out away onto over all over everywhere

the shadow sits as the door opens as she walks in walks by the body walks past disruptive throwing off the shadow casting against leaves race across as the cat eyes the mice which poke their heads out to survey the territory the setting crawling along the inscriptions curtains quiver shaking the moon and the wind flows beneath the stars shining down on the female as she rolls around joyfully naked in the tall silky caressing grass the doorway leads no-where at all it is not a door way at all the shadow glides past the small chair setting by the railway car in the middle of the field where the little rabbit eats clover and the birds sing the creek flows gently by the frogs hop into the water as the shadow strolls past the tiny little seed in the drawer next to the being the cabinet where the honey is kept over in the closet and also in the subway station the cup of water bathes in condensation but the ashtray is full and the little itsy bitsy spider drown in the water never came back up that water spot it died man don’t you hear what i am trying to tell you you never understand anything do you can you not just stay with me for just one second you just do not get it man it dies it didn’t climb up back up that water spout no way the sun never came and dried off all the rain the spider that little itsy bitsy spider never climbed back up the water spout man no way no sir it never did it it died man can you dig that isn’t that just the fuckin’ limit it died what the fuck you know man are you even listening what are we supposed to do now you know what now that this little itsy bitsy spider is dead it drowned its lying there in the morgue bloated with water if you grab its arm a hunk of flesh will come off into your hands can you dig that man its just lying there dead its fuckin’ god-damned dead

narrowness of engulfing circumstance shakes into question the presentness of situation doubt in seeming outward permanence lust for difference all encompassing suffocation longing for impermanence chaos intimate surrender within the void boundary lines become melting streams immanence of disaster destroyed disrupted stability seeming felt security pain elicited from within flux failed dreams disintegrated forgotten drifting away clutching to maintain to persist beyond reach wanting to tell you but — heat suffocating heat immerse body sucking out fluids taking away leaving there fluid streaming cooling defended protecting suffocating

magnificent reality encompasses body entombs suffocates without end

continuance of prevailing durable networks structural processes physical organizations systemic coordination control command systemic terrain terrestrial matrix

existence

living

enduring regime domination one sided interplay of forces

shepherd

shepherd

sheep                       shepherd

sheep

herd                    shepherd

sheep                 herd                        sheep

herd shepherd

sheep

herd                        sheep           shepherd

sheep

herd shepherd

sheep

herd shepherd

sheep

herd

herd

shepherd

beckoning the return of traditional values

FAMILY

COMMUNITY

CHURCH

COUNTRY

NATION

FLAG

LEADER

OH BOY  OH BOY OH BOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOY

we pick apart we sit criticize futility

continuing to pump out the insidious lies propaganda assaults molding psyche of a child dependent only as a child for we all know that in essence they are children all of them protection of the homeland security of the nation-state

OUR WAY OF LIFE

OUR WAY OF LIFE

OUR WAY OF LIFE

OUR WAY OF LIFE                                                                              OUR WAY OF LIFE

getting all hot juiced up over low intensity warfare biological warfare torture capital penetration efficiency profit maximization jacking off on the financial page tethering my nuts with a yellow ribbon binding my cock closing it within closing the book wrapping the WORD around my dick fucking some life into it wiping soaking up squirting flowing juices with the old red white and blue beating my mother with a baseball bat fucking her corpse rubbing apple pie on her tits and cramming a hot dog up my ass singing the star spangled banner at the top of my lungs proud to be ‘merican god dammit inserting my face in the generals my nose up his asshole crack

not to question even the most superficial of dogma for as der fuhrer wrote <and so elegantly> if a sublime idea is to succeed nothing must be questioned if we are to maintain supreme blind faith in this sublime idea as if it were granite lenin called it steel socialism liberalism conservativism authoritarianism totalitarianism fascism !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a brilliant selection

what a fuckin’ god damned JOY

preserve conserve protect defend emulate manifest embody actualize submit beg like a hungry dog realize your slavery as righteous as good for we are the defenders of absolute Terror freedom freedom freedom rah rah rah even if you are starving to death because and you know better than me you have been instructed that life is not necessarily fair or even pleasurable or happy you must realize that you must fit into your place within the conservative world of idyllic dreams a land of fairy tales if it would not be displeasing to you OH HIGHEST EXALTED ONE

LIES

LIES

LIES

your existence if based fundamentally on a lie you conserve a lie your conserve oppression misery death with your lie your control of coercive forces your freedom unfettered exploitation in your self-indulgent indolent imposed sick existence

perspective

southern way life

painful dissolution

condemnation of war

seeds of division

arrival slaves

he his beautiful daughter

imminent visit from northern boys

southern ethos tranquil holistic serene existence background beautiful landscapes architecture

life runs in a quaintly way that is to be no more

daughter of the south trained in the old school tradition obedience

mother little pet sister kindly handsome master dog cat hostilities

quietly forgotten

foreshadowing nostalgia

regime of orientation questionable dominant attitude

northern virtue

body witnesses homes lives plantation family foundation stone people cotton fields slaves work quietly diligently obediently for their owners harmonious natural relationship reinforced by natural terrain closeness

primal earth

agriculture

enter intimate thoughts master

ideal of his dreams in her picture daughter holds her through battle

giving her back to herself prison hospital she nurse slave two hour break twelve hour shift slaves dance for themselves for their owners

natural

serene way of life shattered by war destruction state sovereignty

gathering storm mass mobilization war

aristocratic beautiful southerners enthusiastic only a game this war drags on

two boys die

estate decimated

family fortune vanquished

failing cause

young pet sister in rags surrender r.e.l. structure state sovereignty disintegrated liberty union forever

temporary ally

white chief

redemptive policy toward defeated as if they had never gone away

ally assassinated fate of south tenuous best friend is gone

what is to become of the south

reconstruction period time of agony humiliation central focus voice

propagandist

quotations

w.w history of america

white southerner under attack losing his way of life protecting himself his state utter desperation

ku klux klan

organizational entity propagandist virtual empire radical shift disorientation message protection of racial integrity against onslaught of equal rights

former slaves carpetbagger organize black vote southern family no longer central edifice of culture

all parameters of former life transmuted former slaves free food from freedmans bureau nice clothes still dancing nothing has changed except destruction of way of life

institution

cruel mockery propagandistic ku klux klan revising history anti-north statement south decimated traditions family state torn asunder

common denominator becomes race onslaught racial messages perspective white supremacy propaganda directed at white persons

transformation basic history stage set for revision basic categorial attitudes social life voice calls out if seeds divisiveness began only with arrival of black man

only solution eliminate his presence

message clear racial transcendence pathos distance present southern past nostalgia not sufficient southern experience glorious possessed tragic flaw

unnatural black presence southern experience not ideal traitorous attacks against racial purity

site scene interaction dog cat hostility dog cat radically different type essentially different breeding hostility inevitable natural law prefigures overt racialist message black white cannot co-exist

southern black maid speaks jibberish about free northern niggers being crazy unnatural even among their own kind persons engage one another symbolic constellation center of this life radical reconstruction roles identities destroyed thick rolling clouds of smoke

frantic activity alien to the quaint life that is no more windows concentrate south family current state battle

deranged mulatto woman

polite white mother

travels to appeal for her last living son to be hanged for guerilla activities mother pleading

he denies her request

assents only after she descends to her knees

submission tenuous dynamic unresolved conflict                     problematic                                                             water                                                                    rushing

fire hydrant

— voices —

children’s voices

females

muffled foot steps

— clicks —

water rushing

wind rushing

dancing leaves             humming

clanking  metal scraping

car tires cut over water                                                      drenched blacktop cyclic                   water turning around backyard

footsteps above  dog barking                             water turning                                                       fan pushes out streams

caresses of air

car tires rip through water                               one after another

smoke gently swirling away

dog barking                           humming          car door slams                          dog barking

water turning    dog barking

fan humming      child yelling                     scratching head     dog barking

car passes                                music moves away

dog barking                                voices in front                           car gliding across water

movement outside the window                     dog barking                             voices

tires spitting up                     car zooms through water

flame dances lighting cigarette smoke chaotic swirling dancing away                             car passing by

distant human howl                                                               wind pushing aside leaves

water cyclic turning around backyard         car passing spraying leaves

birds chirping rhythmicly continuously invisibly          child yelling                               fan humming                   buzzing cars glide by

out of distance siren approaching

dog howling snapping its neck back as it howls                               siren distancing

truck slams by        water rolls around backyard                                             birds chirping

clicking sounds

airplane cuts the sky                         fan buzzes breeze caresses ankles

cars pass                                         by tearing up water blanket

scratching back

car passes by

voice calling name behind                        tires screech off                                             fan humming ceaselessly                                                    dog barking over                     over child’s scream

eye itches

sound of water drop                                 birds                                                 chirping eye itching                                         scratching eye rubbing eye                                           back cramped                                               putting cigarette out                         scratching other eye                        scratching breast

scratching inner thigh                                birds rattle water drips                                         scratching arm                                                         rubbing eye fans turns around

car passes by

chirping bird

turning fan car passes by

another passes          whistle

voices calling out                               birds grow louder car passes by           rubbing nose                   birds chirp                          fan turns                                        fly buzzes around                     dogs bark in distance                                          birds rattle      car pulses by      scratching back of head      truck slams by      scratching ear     voices                    female voices echo                             car passes by      birds      chirp      fan turns      fly crawls on desk      scratching ear      jet                     rockets across      chair creaking      scratching      head                             car passes by      liquid sliding                       down throat      car passes by      scratching                 shoulder      silent birds      car passing by                                  fan turns      whining hum                                                       scraping silent      metal hits cement           airplane moving across                        behind voice calls out      car passes      fan hums      scratching breast      scratching nipple      voice yells screaming      footsteps descending stairs      voices interact      walking by car     stereo passes by      car passes by      fan turns hums      birds chirp in distance      car passes by      fly walks                      tickling foot      arms cross      bird chirps      bending      roach crawls across wooden floor      coughing up mucus      jet crosses over      scratching eye            banging behind      scratching damp back      propeller airplane crosses over      car passes by                      birds chirping      movement      airplane crosses         over vibrating walls      birds chirping      fan humming      car passes by      airplane crosses over circling above             flame lifts up                                 lighting cigarette      scratching head                           smoke clouds out blanketing      airplane passes over               scratching head      flicking cigarette                   scratching calf through jeans      birds rattle      rubbing eye      scratching nose      birds rattling      jet                      passes over      car horn shouts      scratching                                    forehead      pushing hair out of                                        eyes with fingers            airplane                                                        passes

over                                                        flicking

cigarette                 fan

hums muffled music echo against vacant structure                       becoming             more audible voices putting out                   cigarette car passes by               cutting into                            water                         car horn liquid rolls down throat                 scratching ear car passes                   by scratching finger birds                    chirp fan hums scratching face scratching ear                                                wind                    kicks airplane passes                        over above car shoots by                       music plays same song fan humming car passes by                        breeze caresses ankles feet                                                          airplane passes                          over birds chirp loud persistent car horns                           growing louder closer                 silent birds                                 chirping airplane grows closer                                     closer car passes by closer car                                      passes by closer car passes                                                              by fan hums scratching abdomen birds                               chirp water shoots out                  spraying music                           plays birds chatter fan hums                              car passes by                         scratching arm door slams           bell     rings car engine                  starts up song plays car engine          grinds hollow echoes car          starts birds chirp fan hums car              starts grinds car groans by       car passes car                          starts wind kicks scratching side car starts                                door                                                                 slams         car                             starts               birds chirp                        fan hums phone rings car starts                                         answering machine beeps                                                           everywhere they crawl one and another floating across over all                                 over your skin                    faint tickling                                      pricks touch      your back now your stomach now your legs now your eye                           within your skull

through your arms

the door slowly creeked open allowing the little boy to enter the room in the absence of barrier constraint breezes sucked across mixing internal atmosphere sliding across durable structures head cocked sideways pearly white viscous fluid dripping from left ear he tried to scoop it out with his finger but only pushed it deeper into the canal gave up endeavor walking slowly toward closet door exhibiting pronounced limp grimaces of pain projecting out from face squeezing doorknob tightly with his right hand slowly turning pulling open the door fell to his knees screaming crying gasping uncontrolled gently stroking the hair of his dead sister bleeding wounds her chest her genitalia neck broken head chaotically wobbles little boy lifts his sister into firm embrace chokes on mucus blood falls onto his skin hair slowly rocks clutching the lifeless corpse his little sister his little girl little boys shrouds his sister on the floor steady predictable click of the pendulum echoes from dusty grandfather clock all else quiet dark silence conditioned only by the unsteady breathing of little boy awakes pain shooting back body terrorified eyes glare at figure body male father standing over frowning contorted wild eyes why are you touching her set her down he said as he proceeded to back hand the little boy on the side of the head you will not touch her or look at her and you will speak of this to no one or the same treatment will be dealt to you do you understand me the little boy silently cried whimpering suppressing pain i said do you understand me you heard me did you not did you not did you not you snotty shit faced brat kicking the little boy abdomen little boy vomiting blood wind knocked out he lay breathless choking did you hear me answer me you no good scrawny piece of shit he grabbed the little boy by the hair catapulting him face first into the wall shattered sounds of little boy neck breaking cracked reverberating between the walls little body of boy lay still on the floor tangled distorted father dragged bodies of his children to the front door of the condominium recklessly scrambles plastic green garbage bags into inside masking disguising the little bodies each placed in separate bag each bag tied tossed on top of pile returned to condo surveying room reaches for a bucket of hot soapy water cleansing the floor of physical evidence of previous actions diligently methodically drags mop back and forth back and forth across wooden floor room in order father walks into kitchen pouring cup of coffee sitting down reading marketplace section of the journal smoking a cigarette eating a french pastry

do not know anymore do not know what if how cannot trust lost dazed fractured tiny  perspective numbing throbbing ache overcoming surroundings strange dark wilderness surrounding the body not knowing if or why immersed in festering strands leading nowhere smacking darting eyes darkness engulfs life slowness still breezes come to pass listening to the mass of death who is it who are these these who are shown to me listening to articulate sounds projecting out flowing from shapeless mouth tongue wagging shaping swallowing water it comes in it flows it sets clear still listening to the constant pulsation of lies wondering why this is as it is as it happens occurs all about within inside the skull gnawing into the cord down into deep within gnawing down and out and away walking out going out to get something done to hand something in conduct a transaction

get money to buy food to feed the body keep it going

satisfying primal desire need keeping it going laying the groundwork cutting into scratching away rendering functional consistency durable self-similar continuance faces are distant away from the eyes it goes away moves away looks away not wishing to see the eyes be captured by the eyes looking away not grasping keeping maintaining cleansing distance away falsifies within the region of the door which leads no where at all

torrents scatter dispel cast throw disperse self empty clear vanish break up disseminate disband

band assembly body build form bulk mass organization gathering throng standing against descend on attack strike invective accumulation concentration collection congregation                                      tangle snarl clutter confusion disarray muddle chaos

command primal principle originary directive decree mandate regularity uniformity progression sequence succession orchestration category class classification department division sector categorization rank index sign

bedlam turmoil mayhem riot splash clutter

order

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _                                   _  ┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼  _

_ ┼_____________________________┼ _

_ ┼_____________________________┼ _

_ ┼_____________________________┼ _

_  ┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼┼  _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

disappearance

perspective

validation                              conventional projections aesthetic taste                                 concept of taste obsolete                                         standardization taste

displaced

replaced                                             recognition matrical elimination

autonomous artistic expression                            speech expression dies out                                   suffocates inability communication                             annihilation expression                                             inability listen                                 authoritarian suppression sensuality                                      forced synthesis discordant contraries                              authoritarian schema                                                 authority commercial success                                      listener becomes                                             standardized subjected

purchaser

consumer                                     dissent commodified illusion                                        existing harmony totality

hegemonizes                                      particular root subversive radicalization                               dominant aesthetic regime                              ascetic selfdenial lack of pleasure

resuscitates faith in possibility

musical consciousness                                     masses displeasure in pleasure                              commodified artistic form                            banal monolithic regime bifurcation

musical underworld hovers beneath               official culture divorced aesthetic absolutism

ascetic commodification                              bifurcation elimination individual                           aesthetic realm bifurcation                          conditions of marketability musical alienation                             musical fetishism independent logic

saturation commodity form

musical expression worship consumer money paid musical commodity inexorable destruction

primary idol

standardization                                       production  consumer goods

organize

conforming faceless herd

herd music

personalized spectacle                           commodification vulgarization

reified ethos                            totalitarian perfection solidifying pathos                                      distance fixation                                               listening regressive listening                 masochistic self-absorption fetish

self-denying

self-identifying with master

music becomes comedy

play becomes subversive

heat suffocating heat immerse body sucking out fluids taking away leaving there fluid streaming cooling defended protecting suffocating

scum garbage mutant stench vermin always floats to top little provincial territory once again shaken crisis strife times are bad food scarce sex not fun anymore disease exchanging faster than money sex lines pounce on isolated little impotent man as he lusts after erotic stimulation from an electronic signal pressure frustration builds uncontrolled unfulfilled empty mutated perverted eros phone in one hand cock in the other ridiculous worm self-conscious his absurd state of erotic failure the twisted little loser job sucks boss is an asshole wife does not give a fuck anymore it all sucks moose shit anger builds mixing explosively impotence ignorance minuscule sickly reject loses sight of time of day reactive narrowminded dwarf a catagion he is vain narcissistic bows down to the idol of his own malignant self must defend his right defend his inexorable reproduction of his own mediocrity virulent tunnel vision weapon lash out at perceived threat his enemies foreign foreign to this tiny laughable man envious venomous hatred attacks the woman rapes her his cock the dagger which he plunges into her hate increases his feeling of power needs to hate more more addicted to the feeling that comes from hate hates difference hates the black man calls him a nigger kills him wants to exterminate those niggers —or at least to send them back to africa — <as the sickening neo-fascist quotes Marcus Garvey> where they belong, god dammit, cause fuckin’ ape shit holy fuckin’ bitch, this is ‘merica, god damn shit, muther fucker them god damned queers faggots dykes sucking on each other ramming jamming now we can’t have that we all know that AIDS was sent to us from GOD imagines a world a goal in the annihilation of everything which is not him he hides in darkness in the shadows of his hatred the phone in one hand the cock in the other jacking off on himself listening to his own voice on the other end of the line the crisis is upon us come out come out all ye stench and vermin it is our time now we are always here hoping waiting waiting for you to call you are in control when you talk with girls like us

she rolls around over the satin sheets as the bubbles land gently upon the smooth, curvy, supple terrain gently sucking the blooming soft wet clitoris as she grasps groans the caressing vibrations tugs bites fingernails dig deep within the skin bursting forth with trickling red drops streams cool guy drives his vehicle down the boulevard jamming out that total hip hoppin’ jive music as its shocks the walls bouncing off the walls going inside outside as its sets the rhythm tone scene terrain for the situation in the homeland on the turf with my homeboys my trustees she learns the song she can play it now song continually played the same one over and over the narcissistic infatuation contentment of having been-having done plague of continuous assaults of memory onto the prevailing you are not to question your orders only to obey them he reasserts inception regime fundamental diremption of being an originary differentiation valuative hierarchy reach for  physical concrete object we reach beyond into the infinite plastic baby dressed in blue carrying a white little ball looking like vishnu lying face down on the bed on a stained blanket held back exposing the bare mattress all the worn metaphysical concepts and categories of theocratic speculation are restored re-instated they wish me to deny myself kill myself mold myself make myself into them immerse myself with their standard their yardstick their litmus test they twist events to legitimize their lies schemes plots unity soul beyond of both space <the sexy body joyously decorates the grim yet soft surroundings> time God our unity is required in the doing which is beyond our doing spontaneous revelation understanding of the divine striving towards hierarchy becomes evident unity indescribable seeking of the beyond the infinite the tongue immerses deeply within sucking licking voraciously eating swallowing face deep within our ordinary experience is the site of the emergence of the beyond of space and time it is only the methodological schematism of scientific thinking that confines us within a way of knowing that is hostile blind to the spiritual dimension of Being dark backdrop of the Mystical seduces the spectator into a labyrinth of unquestioned premises unquestioned from the perspective of one who is a partisan of the miraculous what does it mean to feel a moral obligation to help another homo sapien whom one does not know understand is there something moral about this what is this feeling unquestioned premises assault the real everyday mundane banal life fabrication of idols to provide the foundation of ideological legitimacy uncritical untried untrue mystic-fictition plague of absolutism fingers grasp squeeze lips pushing them together pulling them apart putting there and here even if what is projected is accomplished it still means nothing in the end interpret speculate they say the number but do not repeat it do not give us another chance before the same old sounds the memories connected to these sounds the flashes of memory the images the openings familiar recognized valid true the sounds emanate encounter the ear random chaotic seeming non-direction many directions a playing an experimenting a sounding out of the noise the vibrations cold air wind attacks immerses penetrates her flesh deep within rainwater drips from houses through the drain pipes as she tries to tell me something tries to tell me something that I have felt myself before but never had said articulated

activity of the thought the particular way the thought or the words are presented confuses the one who seeks to comprehend who seeks the meaning the way the standard the constantly present the true the ideology the bastard himself steps out to suck in the foolish obedient idiotic druel

the liar talks in riddles  anecdotes he is sentimental

emotive

senile with his self-idolatry as the herd rubs itself up against his ankles his calves his tongue his cock his abdomen his asshole it is just a big bunch of bullshit to try to get more money for the cause the nation the country our way of life ourselves as against those others the barbarians the gooks japs commies spics pollacks niggers fags  dykes transvestites crack addicts pushers radicals deviants baby-killers the the the the..the-the the thethhetehtehtehthehhtethethethehthehthethethehthethe thethehtehthehtehthehtehth at the same time as a reaffirmation  totalistic contextual situation immersion suffocating forgetting failing to piece it all together running around circling oneself the body sieg heil mein fuhrer interpretive ideological assault the educative brainwashing Bildung infliction insertion putting-into cultivation molding shaping determining drowning gentle persuasive intervention feeling state situation itch on the nose scratching the nose then suddenly the ear an itch a slow pulsating itch a pulsation a touching a shallow breathing a song singing about fragile times

song pulsates throbbing groan gripping me waking the senses sucking in the cigarette tasting like gasoline car exhaust everything seems alive nothing escapes gaze soft images taunt breath filtering between teeth into constricted lungs smoke streams creep through reflecting bands of light amorphous particulates mixing  dispersing faces look plastic voices hollow eyelids slowly open close in harmony within interactive nexus of events rubbing  sweat spattered face over and over and over and over fingers pull hair bangs twisting knotting shivering breaths grinding teeth thirst swaying head toward table beer can slowly coming into focus reaching for it it moves grabbing it empty crushing it rising to find another room smears across eyes looking walls lines on paneling mixing color emanates glaring red bulb music throbs on and on oblivious to that entangling body words echo fleeting unreal moving toward doorway kitchen lunging for  refrigerator metal handle feels hot acidic opening door lights burns eyes turning head away rubbing eyes reaching for beer squeezing can release tension grips continue harder and harder pain wetness slivers tear hand streams of seething red living streams of red stand mesmerized watching red gush from hand hear screams feel gripping distraction of another covering hand with white breathing cloth tighter and tighter flow continues arm raised into air blood rushing toward shoulder delirious paranoid faces scream distort rush inter connected in activity feeling  body fall to ground head smacking floor closing eyes clenching teeth tears

realize your slavery as Righteous and Good for we are the Defenders of Absolute Private Property Rights

Freedom

Freedom

Freedom

Rah!

Rah!

Rah!

even if you are starving to death for you know better than me you have been instructed that life is not necessarily fair or even pleasurable or happy you must realize that you must fit into your place within the world of dream the virginal land of fairy tales the freedom of unfettered exploitation in our self-indulgent obtrusive sickness our existence we the big mass cult jerks off on itself as it squirms around on a portrait of Elvis of Marilyn of Hitler on itself the festering mass of flesh throbs on lashes out keeps within lynches the door swings open in its nihilistic disregard of the abysmal extermination it feeds its fat stinking self the selfsame fat stinking leech that daily rapes our minds in its all encompassing self-perpetuation the eternal return of the lie the error the deceptive murderer child molester politician cannibal who eats his other her other himself herself chewing on the things we know best dog barking sneezes uncontrollable never ceasing thorax shaken broken a bunch of selfish tunnel-visioned old men who wish to take it all with them ashes set on the blue stripped shirt with one sleeve the left rolled up the hair hanging in the eyes tickling the skin a hole in the shirt exposing threads proliferating stench permeates the cold shocking biting visceral writing the letters and lying according to a predetermined agenda writing lying for the success of another because this other has paid me to lie for him to write lies for him to forge for him to misrepresent reality for him because he pays me to do it because he pays me to cut a ratio into the world the cosmos the earth the life the mind floor becomes visible a multiplicity of objects conceal wooden planks overly dramatic music thrusts itself outward to attempt a tone setting assertion of the real thumb may be up but the ideological constellation is down but like the man says you gotta stay down for the whole thing a trance monotonological pulsation of  modulating messages the word the same lie the same story the complete divorce of the real and the word the never ending never ceasing suffocating exhausted sameness crises are events not situations there is no systemic regularity there are only networks of forced domination conducted by human entities within organizational administrative control management matrices

low voices mumble no longer maintain composure point to sleep adequately equipped harvest  sunrise shines down upon life being existence time worthless trivialities little bits of information utterly nonessential over-determined inexorably indeterminate wind races disrupts stable continuity constructed fabricated obtained matter  physicalistic external determination impression from without an impetus false influence false impression misrepresentation miscommunication offense not intended false impression brutalizes the one apparent unity among multiplicity no total system all universals crash to the ground in fractured disintegration   force of the real chaotic cancel my subscription to the resurrection raging differential of screaming voices in the night plot molten rock illuminates terrain harsh dark night site all true speculative identity real ideal

JESUS HIMSELF

our ETERNAL BROTHER

in the HOLY SPIRIT

has shown up at our garden party to say a few words to tell us something to masturbate in the grass to hump on the family dog to be humiliated as he so expressly wished it is always nice to have a stooge around someone who enjoys pain a jovial masochist to take your frustrations out on girl in the window will not drop the value of Jesus

now everybody say JESUS

Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it Say it

Now Everyone Say JESUS

time is drawing very close for a discontinuity want you here there crushed beer can bathes in puddle of vomit crucifix floating naive positing nature something pure something immediately present something intelligible idolatry of something untouched on its surface small figure of Jesus hole drilled into its mouth from which protrudes a marijuana cigarette she is sleeping my lungs are decaying the wind is up mucus creeps up  back of throat the coughing clearing of throat laying the groundwork for breathing

after all these years we are all finally all together and how nice it is to be among friends god knows how much abuse we have received over the years and for what we only killed six million that’s nothing in contemporary terms the egg under the microscope a fertilized egg nucleus of egg destroyed replaced by nucleus of an undifferentiated cell embryonic cyst obtained from liver inserted into uterus of a human female give rise to a human being clone of human being yellow stained pair of underware with shit stain lies on small copy of New Testament door opens fully into wall gently retracts into stationary position gazing a looking a looking dispersed a looking that is not a looking a looking that is the imagination leader himself arrives with his stunning white haired bride the natural man the voice of the soul of the nation of the spiritual body an impotent priest rubs his dysfunctional genitalia on the coffin of six year old little girl articulate gentleman historian evaluator humanitarian crowd pleaser heart of ‘merica god dammit dead truckin’ burn finger on cigarette rolled from butts put it out in ashtray glass ashtray pain lingers on tip sickness nausea exhaustion take hold roller coaster ride becomes more of the same as we plunge on in ahead stay the course prudently believe in freedom story goes on and on never ceasing the sun never sets the millennium gratuitous proclamations of human rights barbaric incarnate the christian the lie the life denying reflective mass of tradition family law distorted cubic column of light bisects the room projecting rectangle onto wall back of room our oldest dearest friend comes into our home speaks to us in that wonderful brilliant beautiful way only his way the way he only can emulate our wonderful friend joins our family for a spiritual hymn the National Anthem tear comes to his eye as the mass of people the heart of the people on THIS SIDE this side of the great divide GREAT DIVIDE rejoices in its unity its selfness its religious union its commitment its duty its values its country its lie

serious look on her face but she is not serious but only watching receiving the stimuli the impulse the input the raw material the message full length poster of old man with a long white beard on the back wall concealed near the left hip by a yellow stained lampshade will he ever die cease to be cease to exist no longer be no longer exist the arms the legs the chest the genitalia the face continually reappears spits out the same vomiting excrement same traditional values that hang like cinderblocks around the necks same lie propagated for the sole purpose of terrestrial control administrative networks for the coordination of the inscription of life scratch marks into soil where it thrives culture grows disperses obtains global territorial presence tired angry face lashes out to eyes suffocating reality little plot concocted something to laugh over ideological manipulation of masses of people by means of audio-visual sentimentalist indoctrination recollection evocation affect incising of will manipulation emotional terrorism control differential hegemony teeth broken black rotting blood seeps from inflamed gums red white blue colors of insidious infection pain death humiliation annihilation eyes blue skin gray dull yellow purple old man naked skin blotched sagging body hair long gray tangled old decayed bodies brought out again to sing the same old chorus give a precedent display living continuity of tradition an inexorable affirmation positive reinforcement they’ve done it all and they’ve seen it all deep long scars decorate decrepit landscape old man has no penis instead an animated tail donkey tail pinned between legs game blind wretched game posturing erection phallic representations game that is played to keep things like they are indefinitely we have to keep people free  lies hate joke of lies hate

HEY Watch Out

another old traditional value coming sauntering up to me coaxing me disciplining me the lie the selective fabrication of that represented construction of reality the narrative the structural logic designed for one’s own advantage gettin’ down on our knees to worship the lie the idol the strength which engulfs our lives within its matrix its territory of networks and control systems its definition of life its why existence phone rings answered by machine it is not me it is not me sense of continuity is destroyed in the rapid onslaught of disconnected jabs uttering sounds rolling around on the floor throwing rocks into the glass frame

another one another tribute another memory another control stimulant another petty piece of propaganda to persuade her to submit to this sick foul logic this hype this momentum this lie this joke this big fucking sham portrayal prevailing state of affairs constant running recreation joining to-gether creating  connection revising history retelling story representing real discarding the incriminating revise censor revise censor die live strength weakness the lie permeates the ever expanding depths of her conscious unconscious experience believe the lie live the lie be the lie for he is a lie as well his inauthentic existence validates her inauthentic existence as they sniff the assholes of those other members of the herd

small bald bearded man walked into the stock exchange one day and shouted for everyone’s attention when there was total silence everyone gazed upon the little man he asked how do you double the price of an agricultural commodity everyone looked around at each other finally having no answer looked back at the small bald bearded man inquisitively he stared away refusing to give any hints finally a tall blond account executive approached the little man and asked how do you double the price of an agricultural commodity sir the little man stared back into her eyes whispering make it illegal

tatoo on old man’s arm reads Peace Through Strength another on his leg proclaimed proudly ‘merica Rules wind shouts into room kicking aside royal purple silk curtain genocide terror thrusts nihilistic solipsism onto those who do not officially exist wind trickles upon poster of old man a form lying shivering on the bed under torn strips of linen mouth coughs choking up flem flowing spitting onto mattress strained breath sucks in musty putrid air punishing explosions from deep within lungs choking anguished groans exhausted pain door closes leaving room in isolated darkness it is no more does not exist you are ordered NOT to remember what has been just written it is nonsense it means nothing you are caught within a void an abyss of nothingness with no purpose at all each word is chosen arbitrarily the first thing that comes to mind it speaks of the blue bird that lands on the grassy slope in the sunshine on the 1st of May in the times of Plato and Aristotle when the door used to open remain open and yet the street remains in functional condition despite its age age seems to terrorize those who had no other activity to compel them to forget time forget the control forget the necessity for there to be a universal validation and guarantee system forget the lies forget the necessity of proof results door opens she steps out into hallway quickly making for stairwell door slams open streams race past her face coaxing her on calling out pulling her grasping supple waist she descends mechanically allowing pull of gravity to guide her steps force pushes her lower and lower spiralling down shaft around and around always lower always by same amount windows seem to be travelling around her still move center travel around ultimate grounding referent alone measure of existence alone truth of things in their state of isolation

fish seem to float in the water seem to set easily maintaining stationary position it is all the time fighting gravity her body slams into the exit door crashing open she lunges outward into the penetrating sunlight attacks envelops her body heating her up as she falls choking to the ground nauseous worn exhausted arid dirt clings to her skin scratching into her burning infecting wound shattering body sting inexorably endured felt constant presence familiar caress gentle stroke clutches growing tighter and tighter around neck suffocation breathlessness panicking urge to open up to breath fear horror quiet breath pants saliva builds flows into puddle small pool setting self-contained on surface of cracked earth dead bodies corpses infectious masses of rotting decaying flesh raw stench  meat swarming virulent sickness attacking weakness vulnerability death stale coagulated brown blood cries of suffering brutal neglect horror rips slashes rapes deep groans gnawing biting torture indifferent shock the nothing that is endured insatiable terror scars thoughts cuts patterns superimposes categorical framework hegemonic spectacular re-articulations simulations intimations of past present no longer preserves situation putrid disintegration disbelief in the very possibility of any conceivable meaning her tongue becomes leather heat stealing water from her body losing her moisture drinking her fingernails scratching at the dry smooth surface sweat dancing scattered  head shaking swinging batting seizure blue red yellow mixing flowing becoming breaking away into chaotic snarls rays from sun sear burn skin blisters rising face swelling bowels release into panties smears clings grabs searing irritated sizzling rash-burned skin flies begin to come several come at once fizzing close to wounds streaming excrement poisonous decay come to rest sucking vile juices into sucker tub little projectile analyzes sucks in nourishment many come wound no longer red shrouded green blue black blanket swarming sucking flies feeding eating breeding egg-laying flies borrowing into the gushy mesentery fatty deposits

i can but i should not i can but that would be wrong i can but i ought not i can but i may not i can but that would be bad sinful evil wicked naughty unpleasant inferior worthless incorrect deviationist hurtful unsuitable ill diseased decayed spoiled unwelcome unpatriotic

i can but should not can should not can should not can should not can should not can should not can should not can should not can should not

the senseless ongoing mess the lack of joy in the activity the lack of a why

an enforced why

the privation privatization the continual promise that is never fulfilled but only stands as a never attained incentive

stimulus

control feature

carrot

commodity

form mediates or determines all facets of social intercourse birth sex death commodity asserts itself major player in all life situations

therefore imperative to understand the commodity and this can be accomplished by means of a comprehensive description of its role and function in social interaction

there is no dampness the sweat does not flow the heat of the sun pounds bakes slices her skin baking bloody bellicose blisters boil brisquely on the barren belching back she barks deliriously at the sky

it really does not matter anyway it does not mean anything at all it is of no significance no concern no value no consequence no purpose not germane not pertinent lacking relevance of no concern to me i never asked for this not me when was I ever consulted on this matter i was not me me me myself no one discussed this matter with me i was not informed my consent was not granted i therefore will cease

a sickening stalking snarling beast approaches her wanting her possessing her with its eyes signalling her with body gestures and noises grunts clearing its throat making ready the eyes grasp hold of her visceral primordial wound

displaces the flies sticks its claw into it it touches her inside engulfs her within itself devouring her excrement punishing

beating

whipping

hitting                                                  cleaning her with its tongue

constraining the arms

breaking the legs

tearing off muscle from tendon and bone                            membranes hang dripping

pink drops to the ground

the barren disintegrated smothering dirt

crevices inscriptions scrapes

flow red

pulsating springs                  pulled down voracious           mass ever collecting                enlarging its domain infiltrating

incorporating

parasitizing

sucking

manipulating                                             her body for its aesthetic pleasure

the sick joke which is to be endured

the burden acting in a play that was written long ago but ritualistically reproduced in all that are born others transmit the sickness of life to her others persist others endure others want others require others decree others coerce others request her to behave think function submit endure suffer obey live pay in their game their system their fabrication of life their lie their prison their eyes the beast begins to feed on her tangled scattered flesh chewing it swallowing her piece by piece each morsel delicately licked clean before consumption

he is wearing sunglasses with red figures of europe in the eyes a thumb raised the pattern the code is replicated transmitted passed communicated spread targeted enforced lethal but only for the numerical most the many the mass the throng the herd she screams into the desert to the wind they do not know what they do they do not matter they are dispensable expendable non-essential statistics slaves raw material waste in excess of demand implements citizens victims the wind scolds her slashes into her body victims what does this word imply it means that some thing suffered damage from some other thing without necessary cause can not anyone claim to be a victim no matter what the circumstance is not a claim an assertion sufficient  but what is an assertion one can justify any assertion one can propagate any lie throughout the territorial matrix of existence a man rips the genitalia out of a small child and cries foul if anyone criticizes him and the throng believes buys it like crack or a television advertisement or the sickening lying manipulative deceiving excrement of judeo-christianity the willed ignorance intolerance foolishness authoritarianism the wind subsides as she whispers lightly to the breezes go speak of my freedom my right my autonomy myself speak of the many innocents tell their story the wind silences her with its bellowing howl the parasitic stench the vermin leeches onto your body from the moment it slides across and out from the soft slithering succulent caress of vaginal enclosures and over soft furry wet red gentle labial slopes they cut the cord welcome to the world this is it you are all fools you are a fool the desire for unity is the desire for re-attachment the Preachers of the Word talk about abstinence and chastity as they are jacking off on their autographed copies of the bible the word the way the truth the canon the rules the commandments the orthodoxy the tradition the custom the hardline the law the sacred the systems control complex the truth regime the matrix of domination the systemic terrain of hegemonic network configurations and constellations all this developed to a degree a level that is adequate to itself it is complete we have attained ultimate perfection he says that the forbidden is inaccessible in that it is dangerous for life yet he implores us to seek the forbidden she gasps in her protest bloody stumps claw the hard smooth dry rock scrapes veil her words the voice explains a deception a pattern of deception she quakes as bloody vomit shoots out rapidly absorbed by the thirsty sand the aggressor becomes the victim as it cries in shrills about its predicament its state of siege it claims to be under attack when in truth its own actions have precipitated a reaction and the activity of reaction the activity of the victim is now regarded as aggressive without cause as un-just the wind spouts out laughter as it begins to drizzle from its hysterical smiling tears one need not travel back to catholic support for fascism <<<<<not to even attempt try venture a discussion of the breast shredders no not this these shredders shredding breasts grinding them out killing those birth control proficient females smashing them down ripping them apart burning into them a memory a painful memory the lesson of obedience not these these breast shredders of the Inquisition>>>>> for an example of a hideous state of affairs that manages to perpetuate its parasitic existence through complete mystification and superstition the christian world requires ignorance and suffering for its very reality the crime boss cries as he loses his driver to a hit cancer cannot be cured if there is a capitalist cancer industry death is too too profitable in this regard young man held captive by the seduction of forbidden things those things which should not be touched used said desire raged within sweat drenched hair torn back away wild eyes glared feeling the subtle tug of the vortex the abyss breaking out of constraint breaking out of the bodily repressive matrix of domination the distorted twisted shapes the pained representation of the self fitting the body into a role any role for without a role a species such as this could not exist

despite the vanity of its wretchedness

its foul smelling distaste it continues by emotional terrorism

distortion

ignorance

indoctrination

coercion

brainwashing

a big cult that buzzes like the hive of a wasps

controlled motion

rehearsed activity

the eternal sameness ritualism of its entire existence

yet it endures

you want truth

this is the truth and the only truth

there is no other truth than the truth of terror

flies began to gnaw at the exposed flesh which hardens as it cooks in the suffocating heat the rot blankets the stench the twisted extended shape immersed in blistering decomposition and petrification the form preserved an artifact flowing turbulent sand sculpts molds cuts the eternal purposelessness of never ceasing recurrence manipulation is so naked that it even becomes a sarcastic element within the scheme itself participating and loving our own enslavement finally something truly funny something that is so obviously seductive that it is sweetly evil amidst the sickening druel of the constant regurgitation the deep thinking the yea-saying the champ the black-skinned Republican Mohammed Ali the brain damaged skull beaten vegetable who is guided around to participate in the simulation the spectacle the unfolding the pageantry for everyone deserves a little pageantry now and then guided around asking if anyone has seen Jesse as the master crams a hot pincer up the ass of the slave simultaneously asserting his own gentle benevolence the innocence beauty

dance music pulsates phases in and out

repetition voices of young and old

music grows in intensity as the female mouths recurrence sameness

she is quiet music rolls over itself the cars scatter the streaming water jetting spraying out into the air

children dancing the cool drops drench clothing matting hair another radio her voice the mother the panicking frantic mother mistrusting all reality the scandals

the drugs

the murders

the abductions

the random chaotic shootings

responds

restricts

constrains

the children

the bodies

the thoughts of children

parroting the senseless ignorant hatred racism sexism intolerance the child not even comprehending

simply repeating neglected wishes to be affirmed wishes to be addressed recognized watched listened to heard loved

repeats the lies the malignancy so as to be held caressed provided for negotiating

whoring

yourself

themselves to the parents

bargaining away the heads the dreams to self so as to be loved sitting drinking in the music as each sits with the other watching looking out waiting waiting waiting for something to come along come around happen

the boredom the prison of situation the sitting waiting for the rain

he wears the masks he plays the game he poses presents an image that which he wishes you to see he thinks your thoughts in advance he says things that are meant to make you think a certain way toward him his emptiness insecurity fear contempt nothingness his nothingness shines forth yet you do not see the void but what he wants you to see what he wants from you how he employs you how he uses you how he leeches away what is best  the parasite sucks the life dry imprisons you he imprisons you he is nothing but wants to become everything he wants you he drinks eats consumes sucks you dry only to move along this eternal nomad this chameleon this leech moves on to destroy someone else someone just like you just like you were  shrill cries as the engine throbs the cries sings a distorted melody travelling away carried along the journey the exploration the advance the melody guides along playful joyful dancing moving fast there here no seeming direction goal always back around on itself over there over here no goal no end recurring themes seem to recur the gentle interplay between the dancing melody and the background bass plucking a scale a progression four notes over and over across octaves sliding caresses from the melody

complex interactive arrangement composed of slaps chaotic dances bells the total effect the nebulous web the whirlwind the mechanization quiet bells scraping hair across tensed steel wire

sickening display a performance

a lie into each of us consented perpetuated fed from a trough sick disease ridden stench vile ugliness existence world exhausted dying declining life mutated attacked annihilated conditions life rupture webs networks life wretched destruction planet biosphere negativity void sucks out contents real dispersed disconnected dust particles debris nothingness psychological decapitation head rolls away over under upside down genocidal stench rotting corpses

only Queers whistle that is what he said everytime i whistled i was whistling but I should not because only Queers whistle

was he against the whistling or against Queers

Queers obviously but why is he conditioning me against them these so-called Queers

who were these Queers

why should i not be associated with them even to the               extent that i was prohibited from whistling

what was so bad about these Queers why did they whistle            was it the case that the act of whistling was the                  reserved right of only the Queers only they were                   allowed to whistle

and they alone

why

if so and one liked to whistle was it possible to                  become a Queer

how does such a thing occur

do they have initiation ceremonies

what are they all about anyway

what do they do

since i had no concept of what a queer was i began to              search for its meaning in order that possibly one day i            as a full-fledged Queer could whistle with pride

it is as if it were always already known comprehended grasped present at hand articulating through across the tongue emerging from the all encompassing the ever-present seeking to turn away from this that which is written simply in order to purge remove away from it is always already known it is simple they say right there right there in front of your our my eyes right there feeling as if my activities were a disturbance to those living around over under beside my situation continuing the self-similar course across in the beyond of now a picture held us captive we could not be free of it for it was inexorably re-presented within our language this prison house of monologically articulated and maintained discourse she asks him if language is in fact autonomous expecting a yes or no answer looking at her he looks right through her cocking his head sticking out his druel coated tongue dander from fallen hair penetrates into sensitive opening irritation accompanying its presence among within placing chemicals into his body to counteract symptoms within inside itching swelling burning it must be thoroughly pressed out or it will continue to emit smoke he stood up suddenly walking brisquely into the center of the room holding up his arms those masses in the room with him immediately fell silent awaiting beckoning his fine words he faced the brown door next to the sample tray wiggling his left knee swirling it around opening and closing his left eye to the beat of the water falling from the over-saturated cloud formation he took down his pants exposing a large throbbing erect penis the crowd applauding graciously at such a fine organ accompanying such a lovely man he removed a small vile of glycerol from his pants pocket draining it into a water stained beaker taking out two other small viles from his breast pocket quickly removing the small wooden corks adding these to the beaker vigorous bubbling smoking fizzing whirlwind swirls and swirls around and around the horde gasps in terror as he swirls and swirls and swirls around and around the mixture goes approaches those in front with his mixture the many draw back away from his assertion of presence his encroachment his large erect penis swings back and forth as he walks bouncing back and forth against off between the thighs the inner thighs back and forth back and forth the penis swings as the testicles bounce up and down to and fro he encircles the horizon of the mass showing them his creation confusion descends over into across within among these many these stand transfixed watching this man he approaches a small boy grabbing grasping the hair on the back of the head with the right hand grasping his little head pushes the small mouth the little mouth around groping engulfing the large erect penis pushing the little head back and forth over across in and out in and out fucking the mouth of the little boy in and out harder and harder keeping the horrified herd back with his smoking bubbles harder deeper faster in and out quaking back sideways exploding semen into the little mouth splitting tender lips pushing forcing down his throat pulling back out away with his mixture the horde applauds graciously at such an exemplary performance at such a noble deed that such a man would have anything to do with such a lowly boy calling out to them all you have seen my works my creations you must believe believe believe in me you must believe you must pledge allegiance to my flag for if you refuse i will cast down my mixture onto you this potion which will end each of your isolated pathetic lives of mindless servitude

needless you say inappropriate you say out of control you say immoral criminal psychopathic you say you say you say all this in your fear anger ignorance you say all this say say all this all this all everything you say you

they were all so quick to label this that everything anything

they called this their truth

a discourse comprised solely of an articulation of labels

a definition

a category

a small box in which to place it conceal it away

feeling that one is knowledgeable since he or she can memorize regurgitate designate the latest labels those that are hegemonic in fashion vogue always in fashion like a bunch of apes playing in piles of shiny broken glass feeling that they do indeed possess the truth or at least a truth making sure that everybody else conforms to the latest hegemonic fashion configuration

one after the other

for is not that what it is all about anyway

haunted by incessant feelings thrusts attacked by intimations of others those out there all over everywhere out there they are about and around they are sickening losers constructing their identity around your gesture all around sprouting off feeding from you you create them for yourself feeding off one from the other merely a specific instance of parasitism

but sir you label everything you designate everything without even knowing it please do not try to convince him now with your pseudo-dramatic pretensions there you go again labelling everything under the sun

it not the truth that he is seeking it is not that for which he grasps it is already this grasping this selection this fabrication construction assemblage positing that which comes to be unconcealed is merely the veil which conceals this grasping this imposition from above on high this decision this judgment it is already happening among around within it already happened is still happening inexorable appropriation conflict disappropriation expropriation channeling coercing molding carving into flux

there is no point in waiting for that which is always already here there everywhere among within around surrounding engulfing suffocating

subtle concealed glances she walks walks glides by dazzling dancing brilliant unfolding she walks by between away

shiny shiny shiny boots of leather whiplash girl child in the dark learning the hard way to become who she is

going along with their lies in order to facilitate efficient dialogue pleasant symbolic gestures of pre-established protocol

running galloping streaming over across the water knocking down displacing drowning the one who merely walks

instigating matrical disruption lying down the pretext establishing the rationale the alibi for coercive intervention

instigating the perception of matrical disruption lying down the pretext establishing the rationale the alibi for coercive intervention

it is not that hard to see if one simply looks listens smells grasps

a message to the enemy who is known whose operational illusions shatter into the face it is there to be seen witnesses the enemy is there to be killed eliminated disappeared

the vile corpse of the one god rots festers out in the open all around infesting disseminating indicating annihilating deferring the laying into the ground the burial turning away forgetting losing sight of the happening resurrecting the idol allowing it to come again due to the lack of proper disposal

in

darkness

they walk about

enclosing

encasing

putting

it

in             so

the          it

proper making

place

in light                                            away

they walk about                          out

enclosing             grasp

encasing   the

putting

outside     it

spheres              in

interpenetrate                       the

they                                        proper

day                                                  place

each

always arriving already arriving among within around arriving anticipating the coming the already coming speaking writing the coming around within among the work construction bringing about into making building around within selecting manner bringing together gathering together determines in advance in its advance into among surrounding grasping gripping tightening around engulfing suffocating dragging down caging within cages around inside knocking lashing biting against cracking at on across into severing lacerating tearing away off from retreating back away propelling from smashing against pushed pushing about around clawing out pushing pulling away into torturous grasp touch smell hear taste dragged down around across scratching dry surfaces lunging out away cutting gnawing through

seducing the spectator to close the eyes closing them tight lured into the blind rage darkness discordant rage closing them sealing closed away succumbing retreating across over texture blind groping about within tentacles shrill laughter scatters across within

excitingly flattering the little one that there is more out there than just what there is painting presenting portraying picture lifting up extending pushing out lifting the veil opening showing in the light lighting up opening clearing away opening up showing beckoning the little one to take the step beyond into the indeterminant void limitless expanse away across over the limit cutting through breaking out away beyond horizon closure finitude taunting shine out into her eyes glance into over looking into blind disorientation drawing back away closing the eyes listening to the soft roaring waves of soundless depths sightless encroaching transgressing away beyond out out from here over towards away across over there among within scattering disparate flux immersed covered up pulled down into within smothering hold lost away smearing into streams shattered threads entangle separate retract enmesh within into cutting across pushing away out

vortex unlimited smears across within single horizon fractured unlimited horizons immersing dispersing flux no-thing

unlimited simultaneous disparate conflictual designations limits selections bringing gathering together falsifying

she goes off and goes away she does not come back not ever she was away for the entirety of it all walking across the drab fields in autumn across the fields over into the valley gently stroking swaying leaves touching dancing across dampened grass expanse frolicking among drooping silk petals quivering with the caress of tickling breezes lying still within the engulfing sea of miniature blades grasping succulent tender moistness fingers flickering across hands groping within inside stormy streams

she does not care

birds beckon flying across over the site the place the secret place clasping ridged bark between her flexed inner thighs wrapping around inside over pulsating over across up down in out pressing in against around and around and around and around against up against shaking pressing down and down sliding slipping across over ridged bark pinching tendons inside little one little girl approaches from within the prickly bush trees quake across swirling about and around kneeling down gently by her side watching her clench ridged bark sending tiny finger across waist over within the tangles sea of black rubbing across with tiny hands girl seducing woman disentangling her clenched inner thighs little one little girl stroking engulfing nipple mouth spreading across over taking within moving gently up immersing erect nipple within tiny moist vagina rubbing moving humping around and around and around she goes where she stops nobody knows she lies back in the background squirming little tongue darts across down over supple tender expanse tongue crawling into navel sliding around and around and around little tongue gliding about over across down looking out of the window at those who fester in their miserable lonely unattractive lives persisting only to condemn immersed within the blistering decay of their god little face dives down into wet warmth sucking in the nourishing juices laughing screaming out with joy sucking in licking across over tickling dancing dangling within slow hot moaning groans explode clutching high heels lunging displacing forward lifting up pushing out plunging tongue across anus suffocating saliva drenched tongue mopping up asshole sucking in the nourishing juices biting teeth against smooth tan legs tongue chaotically sending across sucking in licking drinking engulfing within eating pulling within throbbing blood engorged clitoris sucking in the little one the little girl purrs softly crying screaming out laughing joyous beckoning to come within here away within among sliding across against within draping young tongue down over calf sucking between toes gnawing bringing within within herself bringing the toes inside into wet it is all so dreadfully silly is it not all so utterly ridiculous absurd fucking herself the little one the little girl with the toes the toes of the woman lying back away from the entirety of it all stepping outside away you better stop that right now or else you may end up serving time bud just like PEE WEE you know well well just FUCK YOU FUCK YOURSELF THAT IS JUST WHAT YOU NEED A REAL GOOD FUCK KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF MY ASSHOLE woman jolts up around re-positioning her face into the tender innocent depths of the little one the little girl licking sucking eating tasting frolicking about just as she did cheeks glide over hairless smooth flying out about around dancing singing joyous immersion gentle ecstasy ecstatic quivering quake shaking out around within among sucking nibbling explosion shocked quaking heaving little one little girl holding her legs together lifting her up with one hand by the ankles sucking within placing within tongue dangling about the woman the little one the little girl lying together

the rain pours outside sitting hacking up lungs black chunks of flem snot coughed onto the floor pain infiltrating back muscles each one each strand fiber of flesh smoke pours from burning cigarette breaking into chaotic eddies fingers old yellow irrational dirty habit back of throat permanently red disintegrating dull numb continue to smoke cigarettes enjoy activity addicted nicotine does not matter anyway all the same anyway mechanistic linear onslaught of time will annihilate all small streams race down street gutter carrying propelling away beyond debris dry dead leaves gazing puddle refuse gliding down over across pathway floating down rough waves rarely hope wish difficult dreams satisfying state of mind oblivious to surroundings pain obscured rays from sun break through glass spots on glass dirt filtering rays of sun rays of sun heat skin ground loses moisture build castles in air utopias universal standards measures ratio cut into present reality destroy smoke bites eyes tears diffuse across over throughout membranes fingers rub into wet skin tears flow with sliding pain shirt on arm smothers forgotten does not matter it all becomes a lie immediately as it is told structures fictions tools scrape into ground articulating for us demonstrating for us enforcing upon us their interpretations their questions their perspectives their poison little children play out in the street dancing joyously blissful timeless smiles splashed by spouting fire hydrant children indoctrinated with ignorance of their parents their so called community their world narcissistic naive worthless idealize so called innocence innocent untouched sacred situation of the child child animal entity born into world composed of competing power domination complexes within particular sector defined punished manipulated molded guided directed scolded confined abused is that not our normal procedure toward the young not trying to convince you of anything not like it could be any different dog barks marking its scent on a multicolored lawn chair marking its territory its primal homeland it natural calling instinctual drive blind obedience to destiny innocence pure situations pure states nonexistent little drops of water cling to window slowly evaporating into daylight she lay beautifully on the surface gazing up smiling joyous affirming lovely the metaphysical embodiment of sweetness cramps shock ribcage pain disperses throughout space things they say about themselves exact opposite of what they do prudence prudence prudence staying the course stay the course of the dominators

he was assassinated god dammit everyone knows it it just so fucking silly ridiculous to try to maintain the facade

victory for legality last distorted twisted convoluted resistance has been driven out few here believe that it will never happen again he is the big winner should be treated accordingly we are not going to reward these guys just because they saved their own political skin look i am eating apples again when you have gas pain you have a CHOICE world political leaders common folk alike cheering their utter banality return of order stability this new political twist their homeland fragile situation an economy that is a disaster dismantling centralized control in the direction of freedom prices going up faster than income asserting power that lies in being on top you are over fifty and you are out there swinging how come all of the plotters all eight of them were your appointees aid is not a reward it is not an incentive it is making things work now that was a snap if you are looking for a way to maintain stability look here it is drug free helps put pain and you to sleep kickoff deal free looking ahead old scenario miserable winter he will run forever never taste it like again one hundred thousand ideas fused into one thinking twice when seeing the representation of your actions they do present them stepping down to preempt another agenda from unfolding

networks lash out projecting out onto into surrounding interpenetrating paralysed body transfixed eyes monotonously blinking sucking in fantasy creation construction superimposition brainwashing indoctrinating lying manipulators cozy in their lie the one that works the one that keeps it all going around in a big circular synchronized organized effect thinly disguised advocacy taking into the head distortion shocking holding the body the eyes maintaining the horrendous captivation captivity held away from relevant situation suspended within twisted tangles suffocating tomb of constraint

tribal conflicts within throughout articulated networks across within throughout terrestrial matrices integrated interstitial interpenetrations covering broadening expanse setting contained within semipermeable horizon

easily identifiable differentiations each solidified throughout within proximate hostilities suppressions assertions repressions oppressions each threatened with physical extermination by hostile forces the man laughs in the background shouting out choking on saliva streams falling draining across over down onto over across the flowered linoleum tiles scatters splashes displaced propelled out around over all over vast constellations running dripping drops he jumps up down points affectionately to his friends goes on holiday since his work his most essential work the expression of his own innate innermost essential being it was all being carried for him his life that of gentle polite society leisurely good natured aristocratic overseer only in the most indirect sense way his work it will be remembered is being done for him he need not do anything except play in the caress of the gentle rays floating scanning across through from within the silver clouds beckoning him calling him up lifting him within the quiet rotating poem of being for this being he only cares as such he need not sift through the tedium of more articulated concretizations he need not he need not do anything he will not it is all done for him all the time constantly present activity on his behalf  this is why it is he and not someone else he knew all that had been said before he had become vastly acquainted with every strand approaching from any direction he acted through this projection at once validated destroyed what had been said now he need only tickle the trees guarding over them

oh say can you see by the dawns early light how proudly we hail at the twilights last gleaming oh the rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air oh how proudly we hail at the twilights last gleaming the land of the free and the home of the slave oh at bombs gleaming oh

scenario always present continually recurs recurs this one same scenario the one that keeps coming back right there this thing that beckons this return it is always here the same one the one who is stronger to him who he does not know has not determined as such it is always here here both of them together bound together her there all over everywhere it is she it is the one who is conjured up from the utter depths of his passion his longing his bringing up together in this place in this place in this place longing bringing up to him she all together intertwined together it is not certain the exact articulations of the encounter it essence is always there he places posits puts sets it there he superimposes predefined scenario over the encounter he subtlely introduces his supple seductive agenda he knows what he wants wants to happen occur transgress this transgression so very simple there here he wants it to happen he makes it happen bit by bit he pieces it all together he channels the flow in that direction into that organization carefully factfully tactically strategic intervention making it so she walks into the house she steps into the scenario is always the same the same at least after it has already begun come about there but we are here not there yet there here there here there here the bridge is unseen obscured clouds hover over submerging suffocating the path towards the over there onto into the bed he wants it to happen but is afraid to day anything about his desire it is here with him wishing to make it there over there under there three immersed bodies sucking gnawing crawling about around over between intimating the step the transgression transgressing doing the thing just doing it digging his face tongue mouth nose seep within vaginal festivities she licks caresses the same the other lies back pulsating exploding ferocious heaving quaking erupting silence immersion drinking down

young male dog continuously inexorably fucks the pillow dragging it about carrying to and fro holding it gently within its grasp leaving coming back to it trying to carry it to the bed hugging it its pillow the strong stench of dog semen permeates the air

their traditional lives lies decimate the planet concentration internal conflictual impact destruction leads to scarcity scarcity leads to value infinite destruction infinite value

cheap ridiculous pseudo historical re-presentations re-enforcing traces refracting from initial organization of impact

inspecting for symptoms of infiltration by unwanted elements

fabric of lies spins echoed affirmed by mire of flatterers

internal system operates unrestricted within security networks meagerly challenged through masked symbolic simulation of procedural inquiries pseudo opponents congeal in the mass cover up hiding the keeping from

even if it were so it would not matter anyway

right there right there before our eyes right there right in front of us right there just in front of us everywhere all around us nowhere not anywhere not here certainly not here no right there that right there that this right here here there there there all around everywhere surrounding engulfing streaming away past through around scattered past around asking the same monotonous sickening question asking us beckoning us tempting us seducing us right there here in your face muther fucker in your face turning away making the big turn away around

it is not there it is simply not there even if it were there it would not matter anyway it is of no significance concern it is of no import no matter no concern nothing at all

you dirty son of a fucking whore you filthy wretched piece of festering dog shit you filthy liar you sickening murdering bastard liar

liar you say you say to me you silly little idealistic moralistic asswipe you idiot fool you say liar as if you were somehow pure standing above all of this outside of all of this above from your purist heights looking down upon all judging all smashing down your fist rendering the decision on that which is you say liar you pompous stinking asshole is not every statement a lie even by such a moral absolutist as yourself

but do you not see that which stands there in front of you stands against you outside there lying before you as if a clearing had opened up for you for you alone thrown within its presence do you not see it all around do you not feel its presence does it not affect you do you not feel do you not feel anymore

in words you persist against me words barking out from your throat articulating across your tongue sending out across at me penetrating my ears penetrating me judging me cutting me in two you stand there proclaiming that which is to be my concern my care you intervene on my behalf you steal my voice and place chains on my ears you oh you who cannot listen even to the simplest of words

to which words do you refer which words do not come within my awareness what are you saying of me come on now which one which words

even as you ask this question you fail to listen listen you fail to hear my words

now i ask who is the moral absolutist now you judge me

please continue my dear companion weave your words entangle the threads spewing out from your mouth turn it around cleverly please by all means or not for it this is of your concern it comes from you it is not me it is not my concern it does not matter to me at all go right ahead please by all means if you will

thus you do in fact admit to its existence after all do you not you did say it yourself did you not

you say all that which you do it keeps coming out up like vomit projecting out across into over within my face into my face it keeps coming up out at me it would not even matter if i did in fact provide a response much less than risking any real engagement for this would be impossible for you who do not listen to me to me to me to my words words to what i say to you i merely fill the functional space the role the distinguished position of adversary bouncing off words reacting to the most superficial extraneous articulations imposing your world onto me me me who has no world me who has not a concern even amidst my listening my listening to my hearing of thy words which flow run like diarrhea from your mouth from you

but does your testimony not indicate that it is you that is prone from the outset against dialogue against listening you who proclaim all that which is to be of no concern to be of no significance is not your assessment of my moralism merely a moralism unto itself are you not a moralist even if your morality is defined in negative reference to my own is this not the case

you say that which you do in an utter state of self confidence conceit as if no one had thought these simplistic outpourings is it all so very simple as all that is it so simple merely to point out something which makes you feel the way you do it it so simple as to step up condemning judging commanding imposing onto from within onto without onto all proclaiming that which is true for all to be unconditionally true for everyone even in the most disparate of conditions in within the tenuous heteroplicit flux of existence have you found something definite to hold onto something so definite as to impose onto all others without consultation have you ever entertained the possibility that you are wrong incorrect in error have you ever comprehended the possibility that everything you think everything you know to be the case is utterly false a lie a complex of lies what is it precisely that you know on what basis do you assert your claim to absolute certainty absolute truth by what right

thinking suppression conducted disciplining destroyed innocent disciplined suppressed

she is a little one she keeps a diary which sets by her bed on a small brown table

the walls of my brain are painted with slogans communist slogans

barriers built up entangled congealed into mass of constraint tethered within against that over there in here right inside here right there no down over up right there

wanting just to get it all over with to just be something

prime of life now turned twilight

typical name

but sir what shall i become please sir tell me i need to know truly

as it beats with the other thing going up and down frantically

boy you better watch out

the roach crawls across table stopping to survey survive broken cob web moves away away under a shopping circular many crawl encircling inscribing phone venturing out chaotically scattering scurrying about into everything the bottle cap the ash tray away under the paper on the wall over the phone in the coffee on the letter scaling the side of the wine cooler sucking in the moist condensation crawling upwards nearing the opening on the top over across the paper

stalks shoot out jet out of the glass clear plastic vessel holding within conditions holding within the soil lying setting worms craw within living within water filters descends down into within the soil mash of seeds sets inheres within tiny mites craw over morsels the sticks lie across entangled

across the pseudo wood cabinet streaking the walls

on the table breeding within the typewriter breeding reproducing it they reproduce quick breeding quick selection quick adaption quick breeding male clinging to females posterior clinging grasping tight grasp around the sides pressing onto the posterior inserting putting within that which reacts activates disintegrates incorporates rapid fire matrical flux tendentially driven configured articulated built upon biochemical code genetic syntax situationally determined breeding reproduce react adapt breed extend inexorably driven

he said that he could not hit it sideways probably speaking in the utmost earnestness

droning hums prevail broken up gnawing scraping groans on the floor the semen drips onto the floor staining the carpet dripping to the floor she sucks in sucks it in hard explodes out semen drips onto the carpet it stained the carpet as he protested once again in the utmost earnestness

i like the red much better that i do the white

i am knocking on your door but i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the police i am not the

police i Am NoT The PoLiCe

but i feel as though red and black appeal to me equally

being there out there in there away from here within here right here  over here not there not over there to be intending to be over there moving over there there in there within it over there not here certainly not here

twenty began the legacy only twenty from the facility not even emphasizing these things there were only to be food food for the other the other which is emphasized it was intended that the other receive these less emphasized things as food like fish food but only the food was now alive with its own volition moving about inside of the bag moving about suffocating in the airtight bag enveloping these these things that were only intended to be food mere food a means a medium an input a raw material yet these were to be food

the tiny black fly flies about from place to place from thing to thing flying about touching around flying about resting crawling about around

he had reached his limit needed a good lay a fuck he needed a fuck he wanted to fuck fuck not just someone anyone but someone in particular a particular someone he needed her he wanted her he needed to see her to see her alone with himself alone with her

looking how long it is how much there is needing to see enough a big enough an amount that was seen to be adequate adequate enough

displaced light enters as configuration contrast sight fire light dark immerse

it is over

it wants to have sex but it cannot it may not it should not it must be fixed it must be repressed for it knows not what it does it has killed its innocence within its ignorance and must suffer suffer suffer

i was catholic but then i read marx and became a

protestant

i read luther and became a mooney

i read moon and decided to undergo a sex change                                     i got a sex change and became a lesbian                       i became a lesbian and i stayed that way

do not tell me whose asshole i can or cannot stick my tongue in

fuck you

fornicating under the consent of the king you

you are fornicating under the consent of the king

how submissive of you to fuck

fuck the king

fuck the king

fuck the king

fuck the king

fuck the fucking king

fornicating under the consent of the king with the king

the king fornicates under the consent of the king he fucks you he fucks himself

hey i just got a great idea lets execute women if they dance if they show any part of their bodies other than their eyes if they choose to sleep with anyone else other than the man to who she belongs as mandated within the contractual traditional prison slavery of pre-arranged arranged any type whatsoever marriage

we should force the pope to have sex with a pig

the droning beat beats on as he groans out a self-similar phrase interspersed with squealing rubbing electric strings

it really does not matter at all in the abstract

look how these goddamned fucking commercials just rage out of the speakers they juice you up then they crank the ads vultures parasites keep you unsatisfied all throughout the fixation continually keeping you from what you want the only release for you is to go out the next day and buy the products advertised

OH BOY now we can participate in the glorification of another OH BOY let us hit the phones oh what would we ever do without our celebrities our royalty urinating on the floor dripping missed it does not work anymore shiny happy people it is just an experiment let us see how it works dishes in the sink set smoldering with stench roaches crawling happy at the beach with the water at night just do not have that much to say you should recycle because it is good for the environment help get the lead out of our environment recycle yip yip yippy-doo what are you playing what are you saying who are you obeying day after day in you tell me that i am crying the cats meow moan cry in mystical human voices outside our window it disturbs the conflict the irrational the forbidden the dark disturbed chaotic unknown dog continues to rub itself around the dog what does it know what does it need to know it is all very typical of what we do get a life the guy is a dick change is inherent we have recognized that and that is why we have been successful did they ever try to put any limits on you creatively that was very tactfully done it ends up in the mailbox of your congressman

the river has been damned

beyond the after modern

unleash the river unleash the flux

smash the cage

destroy the cave of the cynical lie

undermine subvert annihilate

unified command

exterminate

command

unleash                                           seeking to exterminate them those that are here here among us those which are all around scurrying about among within scattered flight each one that is seen is targeted for death keeping them back keeping them down keeping them away away from us annihilating their presence within among around about

killing a small one with a simple touch of the finger

flicking it away away from where i am away from me no longer any concern

not letting them die for they will not just die they live expand breed out around all over within about inside

not even thinking anymore not even considering the action it is like a simple reflex reacting jetting out targeting direction surgically removing the unwanted element taking it out rendering it absent of no concern no longer of any concern that which has been done taken care of marked off on the check list on the score board away from here now no longer here no longer a problem of no matter

the great rehearsal for that which is to come the great event the great decision the elaborate rehearsal within the fundamental unit laying down the condition of planned actuality rendering the final judgment

turning away from the prospects in utter impotence

bathing the brain in blissful possession

flying into the fairy tale land of peter pan wishing it were not all as it is questioning the very notion of an as it is allowing oneself the logical possibility of innocence within all sectors of actuality

the dog prowls attacks the the roach crawling across the floor pounces on it playing with it as a cat losing it letting it get away lying down to sleep

showing displaying to the dog my opposable thumb not interested crashing down onto the floor asleep roaches continue to crawl legitimizing their presence through the chaotic scatterings of their numbers

the shadow of lady macbeth stands sleep walking over across within through the realm of our lives                           is that not what we do indeed possess innocence

sitting staring flowing clouds through dirt stained window streams white brushed against blue dome inexorably remixing torrent movement

attention drawn away by sickening manipulative voice voice vomiting out lies hate voice eventually ceases quickly replaced by sober calculating cold

phone call interrupts speaks of war inevitability of ruthless bloody ground war the television speaks he has war tested troops and has seen many war time situations could he be coaxing us in

endless monotonous sinister baseless speculation idle lying sickening horrible b-movie foul stench people paid to be absurd speculators experts

token minority gray haired glasses wearing african american male speaking of the likelihood of casualties three fourths of frontline ground troops african american pre-calculated damage control public relations laying of the ground for the ground war

complex of domination sings disempowering lullabye descending upon us a form of sleep immersed within dream experience disconnected forgetful images bits distractions propaganda continually maintained reaffirmation after reaffirmation after reaffirmation just like goebbels and his big lie

lie of our lives tentacles control police the herd within disciplinary corral necessary component within systems psychology of war people need release one to be incorporated dissent rationalized moment within reproduction of terrestrial configuration matrix territorially articulated complex networks systems production facilities

force fed examples emulate driving us away nausea sickening festering guilty herd lies to itself reassures itself strangles

herd dark amorphous dangerous realm pity rules molding brains sheep confused twisted chaotic hunks of rotting stinking flesh

no one dare deviate for fear of reprisal exclusion isolation hiding within the belonging another herd many herds recognizable herds complete with cowboys cowgirls attack herd dogs

concrete situation lives presence converted prison engulfing frustration powerlessness only by identification with dominant faction of herd only with this mediated experience of power an image and illusion of power can life attain meaning actualization purpose only through slavery do one become free

late evening dark outside gaze out window seeing lighted windows across courtyard reflection television shines in window my reflection

sit there looking into the eyes examining the face the texture the coloration hair long front messy dark hair dark shirt encasing hunched over thin male

can no longer hear the voices shutting them off disconnecting from system consent manipulation escape situation herd war it remains all remains ever voracious amount of dissent it can incorporate as raw material within its own systematic articulation

music chaotically dances within the discipline of the score words no longer matter being swept into the movement of sound streams blurs of images emotive terrorism weakens those attempting to break out

from all points become entrapped within the shock troops of narrow obedience submission another retired general how novel

become confused must listen must participate some way guilt tempts me people are dying private interests western rich orgy rape simultaneous another way to kill two birds with one stone

begin to question this watch participating bystander consuming spectacle rape murder genocide

roll cigarette laughing hysterically demonically set cigarette at edge of table grab two toothpicks will place them between eyelids keeping forcing eyelids open constantly will not miss any of the coverage

this will be my participation my praxis posture the body masochistically towards television inviting the manipulative disinformation venomous mindless terroristic advertising this is mine i have meaning here as a consumer and a herd animal i am needed i am given a purpose a reason for living jacking off to the technical discourse of genocide

grow demented naming the toothpicks one leon on the right sandy on the left begin to rub sandy until she pokes out my left eye scream in ecstasy as the storm in the gulf surges through my being

in my own mind i become the war in the gulf expresses as the physical war against myself chop off each of the fingers on my right hand mix bleach with ammonia sending out clouds of noxious chemical vapors shove the bloody stump of the hand into the mixture breathe in vapors choking crying spitting blood set fire to chemical burning off the face the skin bubbling resin searing the flesh smell the body burning

see the antiseptic face of the newscaster wishing the head a good day

foundational structure of buildings

foundation structure built transfers  weight of building to material below

if one part of structure moves more quickly or in different direction than another part

serious weakening can occur

this aspect of foundation design target crucial  ground below building persists as unstable

basic physical networks or “support systems” operate below  surface          of terrestrial matrix

utilities

water sewage removal drainage electricity steam gas telephone communication

physical networks

storm drain sewer steam system high temperature needs at least six feet of soil above due to high temperature

water pipes high pressure water pipes

gas pipes

electric cables telephone cables located around two feet below the surface

valves

located inside the pipe

enabling a section of the pipe to be shut off

located about every eight hundred feet, or on each pipe underlying an intersection

located on all branch lines between submains and buildings

there is a nut on the top of each valve separated from the surface by a small opening in the street valve box

the nut when turned by a gate key can turn off water supply

air valves

located at high points along the pipeline

allow air to be released from the pipeline network

manholes

location of large valves water supply and removal

room nine feet high cylindrical with upper position shaped like a cone

constructed of curved concrete units built in layers

foundation is concrete floor slab

a cast iron rig called a frame holds the cast-iron cover manhole

mains

largest water pipes made of concrete steel or cast iron carry water from centralized pumping stations into predestined sectors of the city

submains

connected to mains carry water down each street

branch lines

connected to submains carry water into the water/plumbing network of a particular building

location of pipes and covering

situated four feet below the frost line

immediately covered with gravel

large layer of soil

concrete on bricks

asphalt

electrical and telephone networks are arranged in clusters protected in a casing this configuration is called a duct

water supply networks

reservoir–>supply tanks–>pipe networks water pressure maintained to ensure distribution throughout complex

low pressure lines

industrial commerical residential/domestic

high pressure lines

fire hydrant network

sewer “system”

coordinate network for the removal of waste products from any sector of the matrix

buildings–>individual pipes–>lateral pipes–>submains–>mains–>interceptor–>treatment plant

relies normally on gravity flow

a profile must be drawn of every drainage “system” in order to plan the proper angle of flow

usually ten or more feet under the streets

always located under water lines

anti-contamination

types of sewer pipes

clay diameter less than thirty inches

concrete diameter exceeding thirty feet

clay is resistant to the chemical action of sewage

yet clay pipes are not as physically resistant

it is therefore often cradled in a concrete bed

manholes

major change of direction in the flow of the sewer system requires a manhole

provides for maintenance

two or more submains becoming a main or entering a main require a manhole

sewage guided in manhole by opern curved channels

storm drain “system”

grate–>inlet/catch basin–>pipe–>storm drain

sometimes connected to the sewer “system.”

carry away large amounts of water which may otherwise cause flooding

can be ten times the size of a sewer pipe and is licated under all other networks

old storm drains may be made of brick

others which are newer are made of concrete

water flows into the storm drains through inlets and/or catch basins

inlet

hole in the street or curb covered by an open cast iron grate

the street is constructed to provide the contours for channeling water into the grate into the pipe and into the storm drain

catch basin

rectangular storage tank localized under street

when the water reaches a certain point it overflows into apipe leading to the storm drain

the catch basin traps physical objects from entering the storm drain network/sewer “system”

it can be cleaned via entrance from a cover on the street

electrical “system”

generating plants–>heavy duty cables enclosed in pressurized steel pipes–>transformer stations–>reduces the high voltage to the specificity of the sector–>smaller cables–>transformer unit of individual buildings–>outlets

the tranformer units are located in underground rooms larger than manholes called vaults or substations

thaere are manholes separated by two hundred feet which are used to service the network

initially these were used to install the line each section of which is around two hundred feet

the connection point is within the manholes

each cable is usually two and one quarter inches in diameter and contains three separate wires

each cable is surrounded by a protective pipe called a duct

ducts can be clustered rectangularly encased in concrete called a duct bank

this duct bank is located two feet below the pavement

ducts are placed in horizontal rows and columns separated with a space below, covered in concrete

2 responses to “torn threads

  1. Belen

    Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it
    to my 4 year old daughter aand said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear aand screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants too go back! LoL I kow this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s